16 August 2021
Today is exactly one and half month since I started this new routine called “Become a morning person. I understand this name might be a trademark of Habit Strong who run this program and I took their subscription for one month only. But still, I relate to this new routine with this name only. Hence, I will use BMP program in this post for sake of relevance.
I enrolled in this program in August (last month). I had the option of extending the subscription further at the end of the month, but I choose not to go for it. My rational behind the decision was that I don’t want to be dependant on the program for ever. I had a experience with some amazing programs that its very hard to shake your dependence on these program later. I had to test if I had the discipline and will-power to continue this new routine and to actually make it a habit. Midway in the month without this subscription. I found this to be an apt time for some reflection.
First about waking up on 4.45am which is one the criteria. When I joined this program, they have two morning modules starting at 5.00 and 6.00 am respectively. I went ahead with 5.00am option as I thought that I can wake up at 6.00am without much effort. My normal waking time hovers around that mark only. If I’m trying to inculcate a new more productive daily routine, then better to take some stretch and go for 5.00 am routine. Plus, during my Covid illness in May-June. I was waking up sometimes at 3.00am also more due to insomnia but that is a discussion for another time.
So, I selected 5.00am option. I faced problem right away in my first month only as I can’t set my evening routine to ensure that I sleep by 9.00pm as my family watches tv as late as 11.00 to 11.30 pm which is in our bedroom only. Only because of my new routine, it was not possible to shut-down the tv before 9.00 pm. So, I need to figure some other way out which frankly I am not able to do even now. Sleeping in other room is not a possibility for some reasons. A natural consequence of sleeping late is the tiredness that you feel immediately on waking up. The first activity on waking up as per new routine is mediation session. I could not get maximum results out of mediation as very seldom I was not feeling sleepy. I kept on pushing with the hope that my body will get adjusted to this routine. I have some partial success in the sense that now my biological clock is almost set to 4 to 4.45. But my quality of sleep is far from perfect. I still keep on tossing and turning in the bed and as a result I am not totally refreshed when I wake up.
There have been very rate instances when I feel really sleepy in the night before I hit the bed. But when it happened, I wake up more refreshed and had a much better mediation session. I am still not being able to decode the exact activity I did differently on those days. One major area to focus on is the last one hour before sleeping time. Fortunately, I had dinner well one hour before the sleeping time. I had tried both the approaches regarding how I should spend this hour. Approach one was to immerse myself into Lecture on Robotics (completing introductory course on Robotic is one the target that I have chosen to track daily), The course content was so over the top and immediately I felt sleepy, but unfortunately it happened only once and did not repeat when I tried second time. I also tried to utilize this hour in other important activities / tasks that I had earmarked for the day. But nothing seems to work. Secondly approach is trying to relax in this last hour, preparing yourself mentally for sleeping, this is actually what Habit strongly recommends too, I was not able to implement it as regularly as I want as there are so many things circulating in your mind at the end of a long days that I’m not able to relax, when on rare occasions when I could do it. I felt relaxed. You could say that my evening routine is still a work in process. The only progress that I had made is that now the fact that television is on when I’m trying to sleep does not bother me that much. Earlier I used to have the pang of guilt if I’m not in bed by 11 o’clock as ideally, I should be asleep by 10 itself. But this guilt only used to make this worse. Gradually but surely, now I am not really bothered by this fact as much.
PS: When I started tracking tasks daily to form a habit. My emphasis was more on ensuring that I complete all the task / activities listed for that day. Ticking all the boxes on daily basis was giving me a sense of accomplishment. However later I realize that this tracking sheet cannot ensure if I’m spending quality time on any activity listed or just going through the motions as a formality. I can indicate one activity as complement even if I spend barely 5 minutes on the same. Second problem was that this program mainly focusses on mindfulness which for me is being in present and focussed on your current task in hand. In my case, I was so focussed on completing all the tasks listed for the day that I was doing one task and my mind was drifting on the other task that I also must achieve on the same day. Whole purpose of this exercise was getting lost. Hence, I decided to change my approach and focus more on the current task in hand. As a result, I’m slipping on some of the activities lately, But I’m consciously ignoring it and putting all my focus on the current activity. Its not easy as my mind is used to working on the multi-tasking mode, most of the time I’m distracted and overwhelmed by the mountain of urgent works which are pending. This was one of major reason why my daily meditation sessions are not as effective as they should be as apart for apparent tiredness and lack of sleep, most of the time I’m making the list of urgent activities pending since last day. I’m working on the concept of mindfulness and being in the present to improve my mediation session.
30-Aug-2021
As we are near to end of this second month after BMP program from Habit-Strong. I think one quick review of what happened in last two weeks is in order as I had some good learnings out of it. On 19th and 20th of this month I had to travel to Pune for some office related work, we had a sales review and objective setting session. Hence, I had to leave one day before and come back one day after. Immediately on my return I had to go to Delhi on Raksha Bandhan. In the nutshell I was away from home for almost one full week. And specially in Pune, the daily routine was like a typical sales conference which essentially means cocktail dinner till 12.00 or 1.00am in late night. Combined that with the food available in the particular resort. I had issues with digestion combined with lack of sleep. After coming back from Pune, I had to spend around four days in Delhi. As a result of this, there was a good break of more than a week from my daily routine. For these 7-8 days, there was no waking up early morning and mediation, workout sessions. And I was not eating right either. I felt weak. But since my whole momentum was gone. I had to again start from scratch. As I had mentioned earlier, I had enrolled into one month course called BMP from Habit-strong and decided to continue the momentum built into the course. But now I don’t have the option of guided BMP course to fall back into the routine. I always believed that physical and mental fitness goes hand in hand. The fact that my physical fitness has gone down a notch also played a role and I had difficulty in going back to my old regime for one and a half month. Last full week was spent in gradually coming back to track. And today on Monday I has again some resemblance of sanity after chaos filled two weeks.
So, what did I learned from this episode? Let us see.
First forming any new Habit is a long and slow process and you need patience and perseverance. Its like your new year resolutions. You start full of energy for a few days. The main test comes when there is a break for a few days (or a week as in my case). Once you loose momentum and had to start from scratch again. Its very easy to feel down without any motivation to continue. Its imperative to come out of this zone as soon as possible. Personally, what really works in my case if to focus on small – small actionable. To be in the moment and let go of lofty long-term goals for some time. Ultimately one of the major objectives of all these activities is to practice mindfulness. Keep your ultimate objective in back of mind. But focus and concentrate on your current activity, one task at a time. Else its very easy to be bogged down. I have managed to start the daily routine again and I’m hopeful to be back on track, gradually but surely.
