Arranged Job v/s Love Job

I'm a self confessed book addict or book worm. Off-late I have been reading most of the books which can fall into a particular genre which is Marriage. It an amusing take of Millennials on the very concept of arranged marriage. Normally the plot is like this. The main protagonist in almost all the cases will be an independent working woman (Sexist thinking...) albeit very traditional and family oriented in her outlook. The family is shown as really orthodox in their thinking and gradually the protagonist will mold them. Overall tone of the books is fun and quirky. It has been light and easy read.
One of the noticeable things is the family pushing for arrange marriage and our protagonist rooting for love marriages. However as I was reading these books. It got me thinking into another direction altogether. As I'm already married (arranged marriage) more that 9 year back. Hence I cant really relate with this dilemma between love marriage and arranged marriage. But somehow the situations described in the books and dilemma looks very relatable to me in another aspect. Which is my job.
Even though I'm not a very professional minded person who puts his job above the personal life. Still the job plays a very important role in our life; for a very simple fact that roughly more than 50 percent of our day is spend in the Job. Though in my case the time spent in the job is around 70 percent. Unfortunately , whatever time is left in home is also mostly devoted in thinking about jobs (pending timelines, targets etc) only.
Not only that, What job we choose is the equally important decision as the life partner we choose. For the simple fact that over a period of time,  you job shaped your behavior, your personality among other things. As the selection of wrong life partner can makes your life a living hell. Similarly if you are stuck in wrong job with negativity all around and viciousness in the atmosphere, you will find yourself in a nightmare with no chances of coming out soon.
Even though it seems like that you can change your jobs with much more ease as compared to changing the life partner. However I can say with my personal experience to be not the case anymore. In a way as people keeps on stuck in an unhappy relationship with their life - partner for years, not able to summon enough courage for walking out. In the same manner, people are stuck with same kind of jobs for years not able to move out. And it not only about changing the job and landing up with another. Sometimes the solution is about doing on your own. Being a Entrepreneur. Our society seems to be much more liberal towards love-marriages than starting our own business. Your family, friends and relatives are still somewhat supportive or dont have any problem in case you want to choose your own life partner and even in arranged marriage nowadays people get to choose their own spouse at-least from a the available options.
But on the other end, if you come from service family in middle class. Then becoming a doctor or engineer is your only chance at salvation. And off course dont even dream of doing something ridiculous as staring your own venture. In their eyes, its a cardinal sin forsaking the security and doing something your love. Its very difficult

Personally I'm a very reserve and sober kind of person. The person who always feels awkward with large gathering of people, Not good at first impressions at all. So the template is pretty much set for me as I will fall into the most stereotypical of stereotypes. Arranged marriage off course, That too the girl will be selected by someone in the family and first girl that I'll see will be selected. Similarly on job front also its pretty straightforward, Like every good parent abiding son of society abiding parents, I will take Non-medical in school even if I used to like arts. The choice of taking engineering is also made even before I come of senses.
Obviously the journey has not been easy after that both in marriage and jobs especially as I could not crack the entrance examinations of prestigious few colleges in our country.But that's not the point. I could write much bigger blog posts explaining the struggles being faced by average engineering graduate. But you got to make best use of the cards you are dealt with.
Being unhappy in job or / and being unhappy in marriage place you in quandary. Especially if you are not able to get out of both (due to a variety of reasons). Sometime cheating seems like a very alluring proposition. As I'm still not able to muster courage / make a thorough plan for starting my own venture and off course due to some financial constraints, I have given some serious thoughts on pursuing the "Rocket Singh" model of it i.e. doing on my own while continuing employment.

In the nutshell, I'm pretty faithfully serving my marriage for the last 9 years and it seems like the turbulent period in our relationship is more or less already passed, But the same can't be said about my job prospects. I'm working from the last 13 years now (obviously I was working way before I got married), My struggle is still very much real and on. I'm getting bit comfortable financially. But creative satisfaction and sense of life is still pending. Or perhaps I'm wrong in the first place to look for the same in job in first place. Perhaps I should look for my passions outside the job. The question is, how do I find time for the same. And what is that elusive goal / target by the way ?



PS :
The sum total of your role in marriage and the job make what you are, if you ask him. And in this case sometime the sum of the parts is greater that the total. Unrealistic expectations from both creates dissatisfaction and the sense of longing.If you can find your passion and hobbies outside these two despite being faithful in your roles. Only then you can attain happiness.

Why to write

Why exactly I want to wrote to book. Isn't it a good topic to write about. Don't know if I'm the only one finding it funny. Writing a blog about wanting to write a book
Anyway compared to my fetish about reading, I was always very reticent about the other two aspects of communication namely speaking and writing.
The best way to describe it is perhaps the remarks written in my report card in fifth grade. " sober but social". I don't even know the meaning of sober. I find out much later.
At a very later stage in my life. I realized two things.
One, how true that remark in my report card was. Even though I'm very reserve in nature. I love to tell stories to people. I'm a very good liar. I use to make the instances in my mundane life interesting by exaggerating them. I use to explain movie stories, comics to my friends. Then someone pointed out that he has also watched that particular movie. And my story is not exactly as per the book. But no doubt it is more exciting than the original book

And second is that I love writing. In the first year of my job (Just after college). I had a brief stint in a socialist youth organisation. One of the role in which I did well was writing pamphlets. Though it was not even close to story or blog writing. But It has the same elements nonetheless.

Coming back to my reserve nature. One of major initiative ever taken by me to overcome this hindrance also involves writing.

I moved to big bad world of Delhi NCR in 2011. My situation as exactly same as that of a dear in headlight. My limitation in interacting with other due to my reserve nature was all the more visible in the cut-throat world of Delhi compare to small town of Chandigarh from where I had come from.
Luckily in 2012 I attended a meeting of toastmaster with a colleague and immedietaly realised what I had to do to improve my public speaking.

So winning a rare victory against procrastination I joined toastmaster. I even managed to clear first stage of toastmasters (10 speeches). Even as last half of this target was a big drag. But this post is not about toastmasters. While in toastmasters I realised that I love writing speeches. Perhaps more than delivering those speeches on the stage. It was a plateform where in a way I delivered my own written stories. In toastmasters I get to know about a definite structure of speech. Consisting of a definite beginning, body and conclusion.
The ultimate irony is that one of the reason of my leaving toastmasters is that I could not come up with ideas interesting enough to write speeches upon.
Perhaps I experienced writers block.
But apart from giving me much needed confidence about public speaking. Toastmasters also gave me confidence about writing speeches.
And perhaps that was the stage from where I seriously contemplate about writing a book.
It is then no co-incidence then that I started this blog at roughly the same time I joined Toastmasters.

Thus I decided to write a book (Add this in bold in my bucket list)....

And where I am right now progress wise.
In the all too familiar flight with self doubts, wondering If I really have it in me to write a book , become an author.

My initial attempts at writing could not progress beyond writing few lines. Then big break in between. All I have written till now is a situation which vagely resembles a plot idea and some interesting anecdotes. How I will manage to transform this into a book. Only time will tell.

All that I know for sure is one thing. Unlike the other seemingly difficult targets that I have managed to achieve somewhat. To achieve this target. Hardwork is not enough. Its not something you can acquire by practicing daily because lets face it. what will you write if nothing comes to you mind.
Staring at the blank sheets or blank pc screen actually can be very depressing. But I'm not ready to give up yet!!!

Happy beginning, clean slate

People are very much obsessed by happy endings (Specially us Indians, you don't find tragic ending so common in Shakespeare's play; in classic Indian plays). We very firmly believe in sayings like all's well if it ends well. We find many examples in our Indian mythology also which reinforce this claim.  

Why I'm saying all this. Because right now I'm right in middle of what can be called as new beginning for my life. Even though it can be defined as a mundane job change only (I mean no big stuff, such things happen every few years or in the cases of some of my friends; every few months too). But for me it's the biggest change in my life in last few years. I worked in my last company for five years.  When you change your job after five long years and come into a company totally different in all respects. The transition will be shocking to say the least. To top it all, I even changed my line.

So for me, it's almost like to start all over again. The beginning. And unlike the typical god fearing Indians; I believe in happy beginnings rather than happy ends. For me it's absolutely imperative to start on the right note. Plan and strategize right at the start.

Also to quote "Homi Mulla". (I have the misery of attending his sessions). Perception is reality. The perception / impression that people makes of you in the beginning of any job sticks. Later on , No matter how hard you try. You just can't shake off that image. Specially for a someone like me; whose introvert nature  can be easily mistaken as arrogance or aloofness.

But the positive thing is that such opportunities presents you with a clean slate. It's an opportunity for you to create the type of image consciously as you wants as you are free of luggage of you past actions.
As you are new to the company. You can start afresh.

For me, Its a big think. Not often in life you get a change to start afresh (In any aspects)

PS :

1) I'm in Malaysia for my induction training. As I'm cut-off from my familiar environment. This thing of starting afresh is even more valid in my case.

2) On a unprecedented book reading spree in Malaysia as not much to do in my free time here.

Search Engine

What’s the thing about search engines?

I mean it’s a good question to ask that how Google Inc earns its profit.

Google Inc is considered as a 700 pound gorilla that can take on the huge behemoth Microsoft Corporation.

Microsoft’s revenue is but obvious, Microsoft windows is something which has become a part and parcel of our life.

The reason for Google’s earning is ……hold your breadths         ADVERTISEMENTS!!

You can type Google adwords in Google itself and will know the answer; you can create your own ad in adwords and need to pay Google only if people click your ad.

So Google earns revenue by displaying ads related to your search criterion.

If you click the ad, the company which has placed the ad will pay Google.

Anyways this search engine thing props in my mind as I was installing free software in my system. I noticed that almost every other software (Freeware definitely and maybe some sharewares too)

It’s very frustrating that while installing the software you tend to click “I agree” on all the pop up screens and the last thing you knew your search settings are changed.

You know it only when you have to goggle something and see some stupid toolbar installed. Off course one can always un-install it from tools but it requires someone slightly geeky like me.

Nothing bad in trying to emulate Google and making its own search – engine, But to be honest none of these players have the resources available and they rely more on the fact that may be many  will not be able to change the setting and therefore have to content with new search engines only (besides cursing the software owner)

Ads v/s Movies

The mobile phone advertisements or rather advertisements in general are touching an all time high in terms of quality whereas the movies are touching an all time low in same terms.

I was just watching the advertisements of airtel (friends sharing one) and Vodafone (the one showing an elderly gentlemen and a boy who’s his neighbor apparently).

These ads deliver the intended message in a beautifully subtle way, Something that the movies are so desperately lacking ; I mean mobile phone  is not a status symbol in India anymore, Even the rickhaw-wallas are having it, So this logic about making senseless and loud movies for mass audience does not holds good.

The truth is that  the majority of film-makers are just not good enough to make sensible and though provoking movies, Just a cursory look at the list of movies running in halls this week leaves an avid movie-buff like me hopeless. All I have is a vulgar comedy from the stable of “daily soap queen”, a remake of senseless south Indian movie, a movie which claims to an art movie but serving nothing but gore and shit and a barely concealed porn movie featuring a porn star with few other wooden actors.