Graffiti

 "The door step to the temple of the wisdom is the knowledge of our ignorance."
-Charles Spurgeon

Graffiti

 “Somebody might be just plain better than me, they might be more talented or they might have more experience. But I can always work harder than them. That’s within my control.”
-Will Smith

Graffiti

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 

1. The nervous and 

2. Liars.” 

– Mark Twain

Humorous speech contest at GTMC

Today I participated in Humorous speech contest in GTMC (Gurgaon Toastmasters Club)

Lot of thing happened at the same time in my life.

I did not won anything (not even come third). But still I'm glad I tried.

I have setteled quite nicely in Toastmaster (its more than a year since I joined) but paritcipation in this contest was a eye opener for me.

My feet are back on ground now.

Here a speech I have given (My old speech, modified for the purpose)

Opening – 86 words (1 min)

Date – November 28, 2008. The day after the day no married person can dare forget.

The second day after my marriage.

As in the case of any other couple with arranged marriage. I was worried about compatibility.

Compatibility between my wife and my MOM.

But, as it turned out; both of them share a common interest. Both are mad about something which makes me mad. (Pause)…

Daily soaps, the saas bahu one.

Contest Chair, Judges, Hapless husbands and sons.

My speech today is about TV TRAUMA

Body – 378 words (4 min)

Friends, my situation was like someone expecting a salary hike and getting pink slip instead.

Like any other normal person starting a new phase of life. I had some dreams.  Dreams of having a new tv, on which I can watch whatever I want to.

But in the cruel twist of destiny, I got a new 42 inch LCD TV with surround sound. And all I get to watch on it were the Saas Bahu serials. It was like speaking in International speech contest and using notes.

Just after ten minutes of it, I had an uncontrollable fit to break the TV. And the blame for it was placed on violent Hollywood movies.

Nonetheless, not accepting this grim situation on hand. I summoned my inner fighter and commanded him to take actions. Actions like.

a)  Luring them that they can use the amount saved by cutting cable connection in shopping and beauty parlor.

b)  Arguing that nowadays even news are as entertaining and TRP sensitive as daily soaps.  They should give it a try.

AND (pause)  

c)        Climbing the water pipe to disconnect the cable connection.

But all the efforts goes down the drain, my advice fell on deaf ears.(sigh) I was feeling as stressed out as VP Education arranging speakers in holidays season.

As nervous and hopeful as a speaker giving Ice-breaker speech. I gave my last shot. I said “you know being a couch potato can make you fat.

The Reactions –

1)       Wife - "I don't trust you". See that's why I hate serials - lack of trust.

2)       Mother - “What are you talking about, Actually I’m loosing weight due to worrying about poor female protagonist in these daily soaps.

3)       Both said they heard neighbors saying someone was climbing up our water pipe. I brush off the allegation - people make these conspiracy theories on watching too much serials.

Alas, I had to give-up, I was dejected, disgusted and devastated. Furious, frightful and frustrated.

I tried to seek positives with eccentric excuses like

1)       My productivity has greatly increased in office. As now I have no hurry to go home and watch the serials with my wife.

2)       We don’t fight like other couples as the breaks between serials are also utilized for checking other serials leaving too little time for arguments

3)       I brought new laptop to check the cricket score and keep myself busy as I have no control over tv remote

Conclusion – 167 min (2 min)

But none of these gave me comfort. I continued to feel miserable, till one day I had that Eureka moment.

I had a call from one of my best friend at the very ungodly time . He asked asking to meet up right then as he was in town. Aaanndd... my wife did not object as she was engrossed in television.

That was the moment my life was shaping up for, I realized that I wrongly blame Ekta Kapoor for everything, she had given me personal space for 2-3 hrs every days. In which I can do anything I want. Without making too much noise to disturb my wife off course.

From here; I would like to declare that "Behind most of the successful men there is a woman named Ekta kapoor and her army of women like Tulsi, Parvati, Kumkum. Together they keep women in house busy so that men can go and accomplish goals while having peace of mind.

Over to you Mr Contest Chair.

My timing was okay. I forgot some parts of it but fortunately nothing important was missed.

Do I feel bad.           definitely yes. (There was table topic contest too. And I participated and lost in that too)

Did I think I deserved not to even come third (No)

Where did I think I go wrong.                    Well, that's difficult one 

1) Preparation was not really thorough

2) Lack of gestures and movement (One of my weak points from always)

3) Not comfortable on stage (judges, audience can smell it)

4) Time since my last speech in GTMC (Five months !!!1)

5) My humor is too subtle (that is the controversial one. but I really believe it)

6) End was weak (most impact-full part of speech)

What I'm going to do now                

Well I've not exactly figured it out yet. But I will be out of station for next week and will find time to reflect upon it.

Quotes

People often ask me for writing advice, and they’re surprised when the first thing I tell them is to keep a dream journal.

In fact, many people look downright suspicious, perhaps fearing I’ll go on to advise them to use healing crystals, or only to write when Mercury is in the ascendant.

 ‘Inspiration’ comes from the Latin inspirare meaning ‘to breathe into’.

People believed that God breathed into them, creating works of genius that they merely had to put on paper.

-Andrew Blackman

Trip to Kolkata

Trip to Kolkata:-

When I came to know that I have to go to Kolkata for 6 days for company’s work. I was having mixed reactions; not too excited either to go to Kolkata because of huge pile of pending works that I have to take care of once I’m back.

Still nonetheless I wish to go to the so called “Red State” once which was also called the cultural capital of India.

The perceived image of Kolkata before going was that of Howrah Bridge, Hand pulled rickshaws and ladies wearing white Bengali Sarees.

The first thing that hit me after landing in Kolkata was the traffic. Having been to Delhi so many times that it almost feels like second home and an alternate trip to Mumbai every three months. I was assuming that I have seen the worst of metropolitan traffic.But the traffic scene in Kolkata changed all my assumptions, more than the number of vehicle; it was the state of chaos and absence of law and order that stuck me.

For communist ruled state I expected it to be anything but un-disciplined. But obviously I was totally wrong.

The first encounter as in the case of any newcomer to a state was with the taxi – drivers. Even thought that should not be the case of judging a state because then almost all Indian state will fail miserably. The experience with them was different in two senses. First majority of them belong to one state (Bihar), second more than the newcomers; they were having clashes with local there. I have this feeling after staying there a major communal tension is in the coming in this particular state. This particular right wing ideology is totally at odds with left ideology prevalent there, but there are ample signs of building tension between natives and outsiders.

Leaving this regular tension of searching for taxi in the morning and evening apart; the second major worry was regarding the food. For vegetarian by choice like me, this was the wrong place to be.
Staying at the outskirts of city, good vegetarian food was next to impossible to find (only “vegetarian” word should be sufficient here, “good” is a luxury)

I landed in Kolkata on 16th of November 2010 by train and left on 23rd of November 2010 by flight. (The airport was more crowded than the railway station!!!!)
Due to a hectic schedule and lethargy on my end also, I did not move out much. However courtesy to the taxi-drivers of Kolkata; I had enough chances to roam in the roads and the streets.
The only sight-seeing place I did visit was the Victoria Memorial. Ironically the main museum was closed on the day I chose to visit (Monday), hence I has to be content with only outside garden of the memorial.
The garden was for a haven for a love stuck couples and a definite no – no for families with children to go to. You could see the couples sitting hidden in corners everywhere pretending oblivious to people around them.

I’m not a huge advocate of moral policing, but the scenes of couples freely hugging each other in streets even kissing somehow adds to the chaos already prevailing in the city.
Still the architecture was pretty good from outside, the statue outside was very impressive along-with a full picture carved out of brass.

Most of the city that I had to chance to visit was progressing towards ruins, underlining the basic attitude of us towards preserving our old heritage. There were some odd scattered drops of prosperity in the huge sea that Kolkata is, and this disappoints me the most. For an old city like Kolkata you can ignore the lack of robust growth, provide whatever little growth is there is mutually inclusive, with long rule of communism also the economic divide was as stark as like say Delhi or Mumbai if not more.

It seems like this city has absorbed all the negatives of both capitalism as well as socialism leaving positives of both the ideologies.

As I left Kolkata, the picture that stays with me for this city was that of Hand-held rickshaws, Tram moving on the same road with all taxies, buses and cars in its lane and roadside vendors selling books at every corner of park-street

Graffiti

Why does life keeps teaching

I have no desire to learn

Toastmaster fifth project- Your Body speaks

I gave my fifth project in toastmaster.

Title was "your body speaks". Speech objectives was to effectively use gestures and body language.

So here's the speech.

Here is the end of my creativity. Just after four speeches; I ran short of speech ideas. That's it, Just can't think of any more speech topics. I even contemplated giving speech on topic like dumbness, stupidity with one of the main symptom as ..... Not getting any speech ideas after four speeches.

You people have such high hopes from me but I disappoint. I feel like Rahul Gandhi. I got a panic attack, was unable to speak anything for two three days . I was symbolically and literally "Speechless". And then I had this eureka moment. An idea to give speech on not speaking.

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Mr. Toastmaster, fellow members and dear friends. My speech today is on Not to speak, but to listen

My wife says "You don't listen to me". I said "Umm. You said something, Honey".

We have learned to turn every blessing into the curse.

• We find use of nuclear energy in atomic bomb first and power reactor later.
• Many talented persons are utilizing their acting skills in politics rather than movies.
• The gift of spoken word meant to improve our relationships is actually breaking the relations. Why, because we are so intent on talking that it leaves no time for listening.

Everything that can be said regarding the need to listen has been already said. And apparently we did not Listen to it sincerely enough.

But friends, we have the solution right in front of us. And that is ............... Toastmaster.

I'll show how toastmaster helps . You can thank me later. Mr VP PR.

It started during an argument with my wife. I decided to don the hat of speech evaluator and to actively listen and evaluate her speech. I must say the opening of her speech was excellent. A purist's delight, She started by a question. The question was directed towards her husband,  "Have you lost your mind ?". It really caught my attention and made my think. Have I lost my mind, Maybe that's the reason I can't think of any speech ideas.  And Surprise-Surprise.After I finished my evaluation She was not so mad anymore. She actually forgot what she was saying.

I've managed to get in good books of my boss as I was the only person wide awake during his boring presentations. Actually I was noting down the grammatical errors. I tried the techniques of toastmasters on my friends and colleagues too. The key to appear engaged while listening is that you mentally note down the ahs. pauses and filler words. In fact I would say you go a step further and you start pronouncing those words.

It'll appear that you are thoroughly listening if you words like okay, right. umm after regular intervals with nod of your head.

People actually started coming to me for advice, I learnt another important lesson. The people we go to advice for; are not the hard, practical one who can tell you exactly what to do, but to the listeners, least bossy and dominant people we know.

Another very useful thing related to toastmaster is the need to be brief. I listen to anybody with picture of timer's stop-watch in my mind. I listen with intent while green card is on. Tend to lose focus in yellow card and then just cease to listen in red zone.

This is also one of the rare area where my wife too need to work upon. Her time exceeds in the speech.  Remember , RARE is the key word here. I always stress on this Rare whenever giving suggestion for improvement to her.

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Dear friends, I'll give you a very practical advice. All of you should enroll your wife or Girl friend in Toastmaster (And you can also thank me later, Mr. VP membership. ). I'll ensure that you'll be made speech evaluator for her. I have the powers you know, I'm the new associate VP education.

We'll have an ultimate win-win solution. Women will be happy that for the first time men are actually listening to them.

And the men would be ecstatic that finally............ women are getting at point in less than 7 min

Thank you all for listening to me even during red card.

Over to you Mr. Toastmaster.

Now that I think of it, I don't this speech very much. I actually liked my previous speech better. The content was not great and somehow it feels disjointed.

One of the reason why I had a long gap after this speech. Somehow in this rush of completing toastmaster speeches I've been compromising on content.

Toastmaster Fourth Project: How to say it

Toastmaster Fourth Project:

I delivered my fourth project at Toastmaster.

The fourth speech as per Competent communicator manual is "How to say it".

This objective of this project is to use simple yet descriptive language.

The speech is as below.

Friends. I’m going to share a haunting secret of my life.

It started, like everything else.... with a woman. A women who is now my wife. When I met her first time, I asked her a question that meant a lot to me. She could not answer due to some interruption and I did not push.

A few weeks after marriage reality dawned on me. My deepest fear has come true. My wife too is an Ekta kapoor's serial addict.

(pause)

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow members and dear guest, My speech today is about TV TRAUMA

To say that I don’t like these daily soaps will be an understatement. I just can’t stand it.

These serials led us to believe that everyone is a scheming person, hell bent on making the life of other person a living hell. Even ten minutes of it makes me as depressed as Big boss participants, Causes my blood pressure to go up like petrol prices, I feel as awkward as our prime minister.

 For those of you who wonder how come a movie like “Kya super kool hai hum” become super hit, It was because of the wishes of people like me, who wants her films to be soooo successful that she don’t make serials any more.

By the way, I said my wife too because guess what ? My mother also is an ardent admirer of these serials.

So there I was, trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea. I was feeling as insecure as Rohit Sharma is in Indian cricket team, as Desperate as Abhishek Bachchan is for a hit and as lonely as India's Olympic gold medal.

Not the one to give up without fighting, I tried ev.....erything, (1) sharing with them various research works showing adverse mental effect of watching these serials, (2)informing them that their social behavior is affected by too much tv, AND (pause)  (3) climbing the water pipe to disconnect the cable connection.

But all the efforts goes down the drain, my advice fell on deaf ears.(sigh) I have to admit that Ekta Kapoor is here to stay in my home.

As nervous and hopeful as a speaker giving Ice-breaker speech. I gave my last shot. I said " you know being a couch potato can make you FAT. (FAT)

The Reactions –

1)       Wife - "I don't trust you". See that's why I hate serials - lack of trust.

2)       Mother -  "A bit of weight will actually look good on my wife".Effect of serials - Generation gap.

3)       Both said they heard neighbors saying someone was climbing up our water pipe. I brush off - people make these conspiracy theories on watching too much serials.

Alas, I had to give-up, I was dejected, disgusted and devastated. Furious, frightful and frustrated.

I tried to seek positives in this torturous trauma. Console myself with eccentric excuses. Like

1)       My productivity has greatly increased in office. As now I have no hurry to go home and watch the serials with my wife.

2)       We don’t fight like other couples as the breaks between serials are also utilized for checking other serials leaving too little time for arguments

3)       I brought new laptop to check the cricket score and keep myself busy as I have no control over tv remote.

But none of these gave me comfort. I continued to feel miserable , till one day I had that Eureka moment.

I had a call from one of my best friend at the very ungodly time . He asked asking to meet up right then as he was in town. Aaanndd... my wife did not object as she was engrossed in television.

That was the moment my life was shaping up for , I realized that I wrongly blame Ekta Kapoor for everything , She had given me personal space for 2-3 hrs every days. In which I can do anything I want. Without making too much noise to disturb my wife off course.

From here  ; I would like to declare that "Behind most of the successful men there is a woman named Ekta kapoor and her army of women like Tulsi, Parvati, Kumkum. Together they keep women in house busy so that men can go and accomplish goals while having peace of mind.

So kudos to Ekta Kapoor.

Over to you Mr Toastmaster.

This speech was my first attempt at humor. So far my first three speeches are just to get a feel of public speaking. Now as I feel bit more confident. So I tried to present a funny speech.

Also I don't want to follow the holy grail of toastmaster speech topics, i.e. speaking on motivation, inspirational (read preachy, boring and repetitive) topics.

This speech was the first time I try putting in use the tools like "rule of three", "similes", "metaphors", "Alliterations" etc.

Speech was well appreciated and I even won best speaker award.