Graffiti

 "The door step to the temple of the wisdom is the knowledge of our ignorance."
-Charles Spurgeon

Graffiti

 “Somebody might be just plain better than me, they might be more talented or they might have more experience. But I can always work harder than them. That’s within my control.”
-Will Smith

Graffiti

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 

1. The nervous and 

2. Liars.” 

– Mark Twain

Humorous speech contest at GTMC

Today I participated in Humorous speech contest in GTMC (Gurgaon Toastmasters Club)

Lot of thing happened at the same time in my life.

I did not won anything (not even come third). But still I'm glad I tried.

I have setteled quite nicely in Toastmaster (its more than a year since I joined) but paritcipation in this contest was a eye opener for me.

My feet are back on ground now.

Here a speech I have given (My old speech, modified for the purpose)

Opening – 86 words (1 min)

Date – November 28, 2008. The day after the day no married person can dare forget.

The second day after my marriage.

As in the case of any other couple with arranged marriage. I was worried about compatibility.

Compatibility between my wife and my MOM.

But, as it turned out; both of them share a common interest. Both are mad about something which makes me mad. (Pause)…

Daily soaps, the saas bahu one.

Contest Chair, Judges, Hapless husbands and sons.

My speech today is about TV TRAUMA

Body – 378 words (4 min)

Friends, my situation was like someone expecting a salary hike and getting pink slip instead.

Like any other normal person starting a new phase of life. I had some dreams.  Dreams of having a new tv, on which I can watch whatever I want to.

But in the cruel twist of destiny, I got a new 42 inch LCD TV with surround sound. And all I get to watch on it were the Saas Bahu serials. It was like speaking in International speech contest and using notes.

Just after ten minutes of it, I had an uncontrollable fit to break the TV. And the blame for it was placed on violent Hollywood movies.

Nonetheless, not accepting this grim situation on hand. I summoned my inner fighter and commanded him to take actions. Actions like.

a)  Luring them that they can use the amount saved by cutting cable connection in shopping and beauty parlor.

b)  Arguing that nowadays even news are as entertaining and TRP sensitive as daily soaps.  They should give it a try.

AND (pause)  

c)        Climbing the water pipe to disconnect the cable connection.

But all the efforts goes down the drain, my advice fell on deaf ears.(sigh) I was feeling as stressed out as VP Education arranging speakers in holidays season.

As nervous and hopeful as a speaker giving Ice-breaker speech. I gave my last shot. I said “you know being a couch potato can make you fat.

The Reactions –

1)       Wife - "I don't trust you". See that's why I hate serials - lack of trust.

2)       Mother - “What are you talking about, Actually I’m loosing weight due to worrying about poor female protagonist in these daily soaps.

3)       Both said they heard neighbors saying someone was climbing up our water pipe. I brush off the allegation - people make these conspiracy theories on watching too much serials.

Alas, I had to give-up, I was dejected, disgusted and devastated. Furious, frightful and frustrated.

I tried to seek positives with eccentric excuses like

1)       My productivity has greatly increased in office. As now I have no hurry to go home and watch the serials with my wife.

2)       We don’t fight like other couples as the breaks between serials are also utilized for checking other serials leaving too little time for arguments

3)       I brought new laptop to check the cricket score and keep myself busy as I have no control over tv remote

Conclusion – 167 min (2 min)

But none of these gave me comfort. I continued to feel miserable, till one day I had that Eureka moment.

I had a call from one of my best friend at the very ungodly time . He asked asking to meet up right then as he was in town. Aaanndd... my wife did not object as she was engrossed in television.

That was the moment my life was shaping up for, I realized that I wrongly blame Ekta Kapoor for everything, she had given me personal space for 2-3 hrs every days. In which I can do anything I want. Without making too much noise to disturb my wife off course.

From here; I would like to declare that "Behind most of the successful men there is a woman named Ekta kapoor and her army of women like Tulsi, Parvati, Kumkum. Together they keep women in house busy so that men can go and accomplish goals while having peace of mind.

Over to you Mr Contest Chair.

My timing was okay. I forgot some parts of it but fortunately nothing important was missed.

Do I feel bad.           definitely yes. (There was table topic contest too. And I participated and lost in that too)

Did I think I deserved not to even come third (No)

Where did I think I go wrong.                    Well, that's difficult one 

1) Preparation was not really thorough

2) Lack of gestures and movement (One of my weak points from always)

3) Not comfortable on stage (judges, audience can smell it)

4) Time since my last speech in GTMC (Five months !!!1)

5) My humor is too subtle (that is the controversial one. but I really believe it)

6) End was weak (most impact-full part of speech)

What I'm going to do now                

Well I've not exactly figured it out yet. But I will be out of station for next week and will find time to reflect upon it.