Job searching, the ubiquitous constant in my life from last 14 years. Being unhappy from job has been my constant frame of mind now. The novelty of new job wears off as soon as few months. In fact in my case it has been as low as few days. Which happened in my current job only. I realised in two days after my joining only that I have made a mistake. In the hindsight that was around 3 years back. The situation is definitely better now. Looks like the worst has passed now. Or you can say that I have accustomed to the situation now. Have built a nice cocoon around myself
Though I'm obdurate in sticking to the same job. The realisation do creep in underlining the precariousness of my situation. Though I had my eyes and ears open for any opportunity for the whole time. The main impetus comes last year after February when I completed two years in my current job. I felt its sufficient time not to be branded as frequent job hopper. Plus when you see only stagnation in your carrier ahead and your salary is plateaued. Then its time to renew the job searching.
In past year, there are few opportunities created by me which are pretty serious options. To my bad luck, I could not convert any of them. It was very depressing to fail having come so close to desired outcome. In fact in one of the opportunity, the discussion was going on well into this year also and very recently (few days ago) it concluded not in my favour due to target salary very low on their part. In fact my mood-swings are like an YoYo right now. Swinging between stable frame of mind and utter despair. Time and again I had to remind myself that financial growth and monetary considerations are very high on my priority list right now. All the struggles and sacrifices that I have made is just to earn more money. And hence it was very natural on my part to reject the offer letter with minuscule salary increase.
My effort over the course of last year was a huge improvement over the low bar set by me , when it comes of job change / interview. Last year I actually actively reached out to my network to find out if they have any suitable job opportunity. There were many communications which were awkward for me to initiate but I nonetheless stuck to it. I had good exposure to telephonic and physical interview and faced my share of difficult questions. I reached out to my ex bosses, Some of them very difficult to get along-with whom I was not very keep to talk to even in my previous company. I reached out to my ex colleagues whom I have not had any discussion in years. I faced difficult , dreaded questions on my ability (since I was applying for difficult profile). And I took lot of leaves (some at very short notice) to attend the interview. Even though everything was not hunky dory. I have to request to postpone some of the interview, as it was not possible for me to take leave at such a short notice. Or something very urgent was planned on that very day. Or I was not in station on that very day. I had enough evidence to point out this has cost me on more than one occasion. I distinctly remember one job opportunity wherein I could not attend the interview on said dates due to some urgency. And the rescheduling call never came after that. Later on I came to know that one of my ex-colleagues is selected for that role.
The efforts are going on this year too to change the job. I do feel depressed and frustrated some time. But fortunately those instances of brooding are few and far in between. Most of the time I concentrate more on creating new opportunity which helps in keeping me away from depression. I still some discussion going on regarding the opportunity.
Another alternate I"m mulling over for quite some time now is to be an entrepreneur. Which seems like a final resort to come out of the vicious circle. There have been many complication regarding the financial risk attached considered EMI stress. Plus I'm unable to draft a plan or strategy regarding how I will go about staring my own business.
The third and most important spoke in this wheel is regarding updating yourself with new knowledge, skill or certification. This is like the elephant in the room that I don't want to acknowledge. I do try to convince myself with excuses like amount of overwork. type of profile, long commute to work leaving very little time for anything else. But the harsh truth remains that I'm not adding any appreciable value to myself. I'm not making investment of myself which is going to help me in long term. I have identified many areas for personal and professional enrichment but the progress on the goals is conspicuous by its absence.
Perhaps this (and not my current job) is the primary reason for my frequent bouts of depression. My experience with my previous job (when I had lot more time) and a brief glance over my schedule on vacations / leaves (when again I'm not so busy), tell me that its more a case of lack of willpower than lack to time. In my current job also, I have identified one area where I want to gain professional expertise (simulation). I had the tools (software) and knowledge resource (Internet). But still not able to make any real progress.
While I'm pretty regular now on seeking for new job opportunities and the dismal result are not due to lack of trying on my part. My failure to learning new skills is more worry-some.
Though I'm obdurate in sticking to the same job. The realisation do creep in underlining the precariousness of my situation. Though I had my eyes and ears open for any opportunity for the whole time. The main impetus comes last year after February when I completed two years in my current job. I felt its sufficient time not to be branded as frequent job hopper. Plus when you see only stagnation in your carrier ahead and your salary is plateaued. Then its time to renew the job searching.
In past year, there are few opportunities created by me which are pretty serious options. To my bad luck, I could not convert any of them. It was very depressing to fail having come so close to desired outcome. In fact in one of the opportunity, the discussion was going on well into this year also and very recently (few days ago) it concluded not in my favour due to target salary very low on their part. In fact my mood-swings are like an YoYo right now. Swinging between stable frame of mind and utter despair. Time and again I had to remind myself that financial growth and monetary considerations are very high on my priority list right now. All the struggles and sacrifices that I have made is just to earn more money. And hence it was very natural on my part to reject the offer letter with minuscule salary increase.
My effort over the course of last year was a huge improvement over the low bar set by me , when it comes of job change / interview. Last year I actually actively reached out to my network to find out if they have any suitable job opportunity. There were many communications which were awkward for me to initiate but I nonetheless stuck to it. I had good exposure to telephonic and physical interview and faced my share of difficult questions. I reached out to my ex bosses, Some of them very difficult to get along-with whom I was not very keep to talk to even in my previous company. I reached out to my ex colleagues whom I have not had any discussion in years. I faced difficult , dreaded questions on my ability (since I was applying for difficult profile). And I took lot of leaves (some at very short notice) to attend the interview. Even though everything was not hunky dory. I have to request to postpone some of the interview, as it was not possible for me to take leave at such a short notice. Or something very urgent was planned on that very day. Or I was not in station on that very day. I had enough evidence to point out this has cost me on more than one occasion. I distinctly remember one job opportunity wherein I could not attend the interview on said dates due to some urgency. And the rescheduling call never came after that. Later on I came to know that one of my ex-colleagues is selected for that role.
The efforts are going on this year too to change the job. I do feel depressed and frustrated some time. But fortunately those instances of brooding are few and far in between. Most of the time I concentrate more on creating new opportunity which helps in keeping me away from depression. I still some discussion going on regarding the opportunity.
Another alternate I"m mulling over for quite some time now is to be an entrepreneur. Which seems like a final resort to come out of the vicious circle. There have been many complication regarding the financial risk attached considered EMI stress. Plus I'm unable to draft a plan or strategy regarding how I will go about staring my own business.
The third and most important spoke in this wheel is regarding updating yourself with new knowledge, skill or certification. This is like the elephant in the room that I don't want to acknowledge. I do try to convince myself with excuses like amount of overwork. type of profile, long commute to work leaving very little time for anything else. But the harsh truth remains that I'm not adding any appreciable value to myself. I'm not making investment of myself which is going to help me in long term. I have identified many areas for personal and professional enrichment but the progress on the goals is conspicuous by its absence.
Perhaps this (and not my current job) is the primary reason for my frequent bouts of depression. My experience with my previous job (when I had lot more time) and a brief glance over my schedule on vacations / leaves (when again I'm not so busy), tell me that its more a case of lack of willpower than lack to time. In my current job also, I have identified one area where I want to gain professional expertise (simulation). I had the tools (software) and knowledge resource (Internet). But still not able to make any real progress.
While I'm pretty regular now on seeking for new job opportunities and the dismal result are not due to lack of trying on my part. My failure to learning new skills is more worry-some.
