That time of the year

 That time of the year.

I have mentioned this in many earlier posts as well. About this so-called time of the year. In financial terms, you can call it the last quarter of the year i.e., from October to December. For people like us who live in an area prone to extreme weather conditions. The onset of winters comes as a big respite after months and months of scorching heat. I feel it’s more than sheer coincidence that all major festivals in our religion happen to lie in the period of pleasant weather. In my case, I have added incentive that my (and for that matter even my wife and one of my daughter’s) birthday falls in this period as well.

So, it culminates in a period of reflection, introspection and ultimately planning for next year which coincides with new year eve on 31^st December.

08-Oct-2023

The major milestone is my birthday which falls on 17^th of October. This serves as a reminder for me to spend some time in introspection. More so as I will be officially on wrong side of 40s after this date.  It’s very natural to have this feeling that life is slipping by, and you are a failure or under-achieve at best. Even more in my case as I could have gotten a promotion just before my birthday which would have sweetened the deal a bit more. But the decision was put on backburner for some time due to a bit of corporate politics (a topic for another post when I’m in relatively calmer state of mind). So, to avoid digressing further, I had reasons to be resentful (as anyone will always have). But there are reasons to be happy, content and grateful too, even if it’s not really apparent. Some months back, I decided to work on a smaller set of goals lest I get overwhelmed by the big list of so-called objectives and very litter progress to show. So, I selected only two major objectives if my memory serves me right. One was to focus more on my fitness, it’s still a work in progress but slowly and gradually, I’m building on my consistency on this. The second objective was to learn Spanish. It’s not easy at all, but here again I’m taking baby steps in its direction. Now I feel I can be bold enough to embark on my third objective, which perhaps is going to be toughest compared to the previous two but will help in achieving the previous two objectives as well if I could even partially achieve it. And that goal is...

Discipline against distraction, on social media and elsewhere. Mainly time guzzlers like Facebook, Quora, YouTube, OTT and general random scrolling on chrome.

14-Oct-2023

Getting close to the D Day now. And so-called Fate or destiny has found a nice way to assert themselves and bite me. As I was getting a bit ambitious with my plans and all. And I hit a roadblock in the form of variety of ways. First, I had minor physical discomfort like body pain and tiredness which persisted for the better part of the week. Then my daughter who is not even two years old. Start showing some tantrums (maybe it’s a result of change in weather conditions) But She was not sleeping soundly from last one week. As a nuclear family without the support of grandparents. This effectively means that me and my wife can’t sleep either for the last week. And as if all these things were not enough, I had some urgent official targets as my workload is increasing day by day.

So, it all resulted in a sort of daily routine which was very different from how I want it to be. Waking up late in the day. Feeling sleepy for most of the morning and working till late night to finish the urgent work. So, my so-called daily routine which I had built very painstakingly went down the drain. And the positive momentum is all but lost.

Now I am feeling a bit better at-least physically (I think partially it was due to so called intermittent fasting that I was following to lose excess weight, as you are not in best of the spirits when your stomach is empty. So, I’m trying to recalibrate my approach. Ensuring that I’m well fed and well hydrated most of the time. And slowly increasing my intensity towards the shared goals again. It’s quite frustrating to lose the momentum and start all over again. But still, it’s much better than wallowing in self-pity.

So, I had a very little workout in the morning today (even though I literally had to push myself and my body and mind was screaming to get away). And Now I’m penning down (or typing to be more accurate) these thoughts to ensure that I continue to write as well.

My goals remain the same as before.

Physical Fitness

Proficiency in Spanish

Less Distraction (Phone and PC)

 

17-Oct-2023

So, the D here is here ultimately, the weather seems pleasant today after unseasonal heat wave for many days.  The year gone by has been quite eventful to say the least but ultimately more good than bad. I generally avoid spending too much to dwell on the past too much. I would rather utilize my time in planning for the future. Still spending time in introspection and reflection is a necessary evil. Perhaps I will do that on 31^st December, which is also not very far way by the way. Today I will indulge myself and take it a bit easy. There is a full one year ahead (at-least I would like to think so even if life is very unpredictable.)

My objective as stated above remains fixed, I’m not going to add any other names to that list. At least not officially. You can make the list of your so-called goals as long as possible. But unless you have a small list of priorities. You will find it difficult to focus, and it high time I get really serious about my health (No 1). Also, I’m working in a company with head-office in Spain for around 3.5 year now. And If I really wanted to learn Spanish, I need to achieve this target within next one year. The third target is also not going to be an easy one to achieve as it’s a sort of an intangible target.

 02-Dec-2023

This is the time when you can claim that end of the year is officially here as we are into the last month of the year. Based on my experience and observation, different group of people behaves differently as this time of the year. Some are in the mode of enjoying their life to the fullest, throwing caution to the winds convincing themselves about enjoying one last time before they will turn up all disciplined and focused come 1st of January. However more often than not, it becomes even more difficult as discipline is something that builds up gradually. Another set of people who are actually in minority, use this time to prepare themselves for easing into the new year routing that they have envisaged for themselves. A third and even rarer group is the one who had actually plotted and selected goals for themselves last year, And are actually tenacious enough to not to let go of their goals and try their best even when they realize that time is running out very fast. I cant be in the third group but I definitely aspire to be in the second group.

 

Solitude

Solitude is a very alien concept to contemporary Indian psyche. Its partially due to the sheer size of population that we have and partially due to the innate curiosity to meddle in the affairs of other person. Its a strange contradiction of sorts as we are supposed to be the pioneers of mediation which can be loosely defined as contemplating and focusing in solitude only. On perhaps these are two different aspects co-existing in our society. Even human personality is actually an amalgamation of big five traits of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. Still we are not really new to concept to solitude on mental level thanks to spirituality and meditation. Drawing on my personal experience, my mental state is like a pendulum which swings from one extreme to another depending on various factors some tangible and some intangible. As this multi-variance analysis is beyond my cognitive abilities right now. I'll avoid the temptation of delving into probable causes for my so-called mood swings. But the fact remain that sometimes we really crave solitude (mainly when we have realization that we are running in circles in this rat-race), On the other hands its really difficult to draw the line between solitude and loneliness. On the other extremities we felt lonely even while surrounded by tons and tons of people. The contrast is right there when you look at empirical data and find that being burnt out and depression are two common factors affecting mental health today.

Ironically, one of the major areas for me where I need solitude is the one that I'm focusing on right now, writing. For last few weeks. I have outlined few areas where I'm tying to be more consistent. And reading and writing both figure quite prominently on that list. Out of these two, reading is considering as the easy part more-so if you don't set your expectation too high and compromise a bit on the quality, In other words, searching for good book to read can be quite a challenge. But if you lower your expectation, Than there is no dearth of matter to read. 

Writing on the other hand, is far more complex and demanding endeavor on my part. I do run into the very cliche writer's block. I start writing on something and after first few lines, run out of ideas to explore it further. Also the strains of personal and professional responsibilities is making it tougher and tougher to find solitude as a certain degree of mental piece is required for writing anything worthwhile. Even 5-10 minutes are enough for me to read few pages at least every day. But I need longer slice of me time to articulate my thoughts and put it on paper.

As I have indicated few times already in previous blogs, I'm prone to neurotism aspect of personality types. I'm guilty of indulging in overthinking or day-dreaming in the past. One of the option to keep this tendency in check is to keep yourself busy. But when you are trying to find time for meditation, then there is a risk that you can fall back to these habits.

The other part which is quite pedantic compared to first one is pure laziness or sleepiness. I have a little one a half year old devil in my house who neither sleep herself nor allows others to sleeps. She wants to play with me (and her mother off-course) at 3am in the night. I have prided myself as a early riser for a long time (I even have tried my hand at so-called 4am club for a while). As the body conditioning does not happen overnight and even it does not deteriorate overnight too. I still can wake up early in the morning without much of an issue. But... the cumulative lack of sleep shows after a while and you tend to feel sleepy all the time. So sitting in a relaxed posture and closing your eyes is not a good idea at all when your body is craving sleep.

As I touched earlier too, both physically and mental fitness is required to keep up with an increasingly demanding job and in a way, both of them are actually related to each other. 

Pune - Gurgaon and Back

 Actually the correct title should be Gurgaon to Pune and back. Because that's the title of an email that I write monthly to travel agent for ticket booking purpose.

However my relationship with Pune City goes beyond my first company. So as a (im) famous politician has said. You have to understand the chronology. I started working after I completed my education in 2004 (a good 19 years back). And since 2006 I'm associated with project based job which involves fair bit of travelling. Apart from some abroad visits (which generated quite a buzz in my personal circle), My major travel used to be in Delhi NCR or Mumbai. So though not directly to Pune, but I had started traveling to Mumbai region quite early. I always had a funny feeling even back then that these places are my so called karmabhoomi in future.

I moved jobs and shifted to Gurgaon in 2011. Which I now relate as my actual home. So one of the wishes come true.