Goals / Passion 2017

As covered in my earlier post too..
This year I'm not going to set Goals. As I have tried setting Goals for past few years. I could achieve some of them. But never found enough motivation to achieve all or majority of them. So I'm going to hit the nail on its head and set my goal as the same thing which is lacking all those years.
PASSION
The issue however is that I'm not a passionate person at all by nature. I have always been a very aloof person. I could not any passion work pursuing at all. So as a great speaker has said (in Tedex) "Fake it till you become it". I'm going to create my passions for me. In fact on second thoughts, this does not seems so absurd a notion. I think the goals that I keep on setting year and year and somehow reflection of my passion only. Its just that I'm so trapped in the rat-race that these passions are buried somewhere deep inside.

So without much ado (Since I don't want to spend whole of 2017 in planing to plan only). Here are my goals aka Passions.

Physical Health

• Reducing weight, target range 70 - 72 : My current wt stands at 76.5 kg. So that around 5-7 kg weight loss or roughly 10% reduction.
• Participate in Delhi half marathon : Brisk walking / running is one of the fitness activity I can indulge in more often as per my convenience. But my ultimate goal is to participate in half marathon. And I live in Delhi so Delhi half marathon is the best bet for me. Another convenient thing is that its normally scheduled in end of year making it best suited for new year resolution.
• Weight training : I would really like to bulk up specially in arms. Hence I plan to follow weight training also Even though following this along with weight reduction is tough.
• Yoga / Paranayam : For past many years. I'm constantly trying to follow my fitness related goals. Unfortunately there are not much results to show off. The only positives are that I have managed to stop my weight and waistline from deteriorating and almost eliminated my back pain issues. The negative on the other side is that it has been all about physical fitness, abs, muscle. Leaving the other aspects behind. Even though I believe and sometimes practices meditation and have done bit of Yoga in school. Still this area is more of less neglected one. This year I plan to follow Yoga regularly.

Mental Health

• Blogs : Well that what I'm doing right now. I plan to keep up with blogging and improve it further both qualitatively and quantitatively. Target is 12-15 post.
• Books : I love reading books, Hence its one of the goals I achieve very easily. However this year I will go for quality instead of quantity only. One of my target is classics provided they are easy to read. Target is 12-15 boooks
• Writing my own book : Yes I still nurture this madness in-spite of having encountered writers block many times last year. How and when I'm going to do this; I don't know. But I plan to at-least write first draft for my book this year.
• Recreation : I wanted to be able to play one musical instrument and my choice is Guitar. I have an on and off try on this earlier but could not go very far. You would find this in my new years list. This year I can get it off the block (Hopefully)

Goals 2016 appraisal

New year is the time for resolutions, but it is also the time for looking back at the goals for last year. Perhaps analyzing last year goals is even more important than making goals / resolutions for this year. So I'm going to analyse the last year's goals and track the progress against each goal too.
Also if I can draw some lessons out of the status (passed / failed) of each goals. So the list of my last year goals are as below.

1) Books - 15 books
Now this is really interesting. Because last year I end up reading 50 books. Yes that correct, I read 50 books last year. How it leads up to that is also pretty interesting. If I remember correctly I ready around 20-25 books in 2015. Then I was commuting by metro to my office and has plenty of free time to read books. As it happened; I changed job at end of 2015. Now I have to drive daily to my office plus very little free time is available. So I though to reduce my goal.
But I have to attend few months training in Malaysia where has lot to free time as there was no family / friends to spend time with. Hence I spend most of my time in reading books. That I could have utilized this time in complete other neglected goals in another story though.

In fact I read so many books that now I'm displaying withdrawal symptoms plus now my inclination is more toward quality read too.

PS : I took subscription of Kindly unlimited last year wherein I can read unlimited books but was really disappointed with the quality of books. Not going to repeat this mistake now. As for free books. Well I have bookbub.

2) Blog - 12 posts (full articles)
Well another goals, Where I still have some progress. I completed 9 blog posts compared to target of 12. There also I could see a pattern. No post in staring of year due to new job complication. Then pretty much on track for one post a month. But in the end of year again can't keep up due to adjustment with hectic travelling once I was back in India.
The good thing is that I stayed true to my resolution of writing full post only. Not some random quote just to make up the number
Though i still wants to write more and longer.
PS : I also tried to write to book but failed spectacularly [writers block!]

3) Physical fitness - Delhi half marathon, swimming
I could not partcipate or even prepare for Delhi half marathon. So a big failure there. But swimming I still could achieve somewhat as my my apartment in Malaysia has indoor pool. I tried satisfactorily there as lean backstroke and tried my hands at other strokes too.
PS : The big elephant in the room here is reducing weight. My target was to reduce from 78 to 75. I even reached 72.2 when I was in Malaysia due to food issues. But weight gain was back with a bang once back in India. At end of last year; my weight was 75.7. So still did satisfactory I would think. My overall fitness leaves a lot to be desired though

4) Communication - Toastmasters (one stage)
Big zero is this regard. I can consol myself by saying that reading books and blogging (my top two goals) are also related to communication. But the main aims herein was either to write a book or give speeches at Toastmaster.Both of which I could not achieve.

5) Qualification - Corres. degree (optional - MBA)
No progress at all

6) Financial - Planning, Equity
No progress at all

7) Recreation - Learn one new hobby (Guitar)
No progress at all. Perhaps one of my biggest disappointment. Missing out on such goals indicates that you are really getting mechanical. It has been on my to-do list for years but still not able to make any headway with it.

8) Technical - Learn one new software (Solid works)
No progress at all. Looking to replace this software with another one (ABB robo studio) but the problem is that I don't have the license key for the same

9) Entrepreneurship - Prepare business plan with road-map
No progress at all. In this particular case I' like a deer in Headlight. Have absolutely no idea how to move further in this goal. Desperately lagging behind and but I now seriously doubt if I really has it in me to be a Entrepreneur at all!

Well it does not look promising at all. 3 out of 9. In-fact its quite a revelation for me. Before actually doing this exercise, I was pretty sure that I did alright last year. Looking back at last year. I could relate with so many things I did last year. So many achievements!!. The only problem being that the achievement were not in line with my goals at all. 
That the main essence of Rat-race. Just doing so many things give you a sense of accomplishment. Wherein the main thing 
Are you goals aligned with the main Aim.

Also perhaps some of my goals were not so important for me so ignite the fire within. 
For this year, I'm going to set goals that are synonymous with passion.
My goals will be few (perhaps I'm going to divide my goals into primary and secondary goals.

So I need to answer an even more difficult question that what are your goals.
The question is. what are the things I'm really passionate about.

PS : 3 out of 9 makes it 33.3 % which is the infamous pass percentage in our schools. Perhaps the analogy is befitting in my case too. I can say I just about get passed in this exam But I need to pull my socks for next session (2017) which is already started

Blank slate - Again!

So we have that day again!
That day when you can feel the positivity in the air. When almost everyone is happy and motivated. Well almost everyone. Except for some people who are perpetually in pessimistic state.
The day for planning with renewed vigor.
The day when we shed the baggage of procrastination, frustration, negativity and pursue the journey ahead with zeal.
Its the first day of new year!
Normally people take stock of their plans for last year, make resolutions for new year regarding whatever they wanted to achieve in coming year.
I think before all that, better to soak in all the positivity, be grateful that we have got a blank slate again so that we can start afresh.
Its a chance to let go of everything that was bogging us down.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this new beginning is not limited to 1st of January only. The pattern that I have observed is our mood swings are like see-saw or sinusoidal waveform. Hyperactive on start of new year but deflated like balloon out of air on the sign of first hurdle or setback which sometimes can happen as soon as the first day only.
I  think it happens with everyone and I'm no exception,  but whenever it  happens to me I'll keep in mind two things

1)  This new year  is like a  blank  diary of 365  pages.  If  first page is torn or  soiled that it  does not means that you cannot create something good on  remaining pages

2)  Its imperative to set positive goals not the negative  ones,  This  positive or negative I  does not mean positive and negative in moral sense. for me negative goals are with magic word "No", "Zero" or "Without". The problem with such goals lies in old adage that says "Not thinking about something is also thinking about same thing only". 

One of the main endeavor is my life has been is to get out of this rat - race. But unfortunately to get out of the rat-race also, You have to run faster. And new year is the time when the whistle goes off.So this time is like
Get. Set , Go!

Saving Sanity!

What keeps me Sane !
This is the question I keeps on asking myself time and again. First of all let me clarify about my definition of a sane man. I don't mean insanity as loosing control of your emotions. But rather as loosing control of your aims, passions.
Nothing can be worse than having no aims in life. You are just like a rudderless ship wandering to the tune of random gusts of winds. You don't realize going through the motions how your life is wasting away.

October is special month for me. In any case this is a best time in terms of weather as in India this is the onset of winters. You can feel the positive energy in the air due to the festivals just round the corner.

But  for me the highlight of this month is that my birthday falls in this month (I'm  lucky  that I  can remain positive on  my  birthday due to its  timing). 

Off late (Since I  found myself on the wrong side of 30), I tend to get into  the reflection  and  planning on my  birthday.  And here is that time of the year again.  But the first  question on my Mind this time is. "How To save my sanity". Because the situation this year is  unique.
For past couple of years; One of my main grudge against life has been my inability to change job. It has been really Achilles heal for most of my life. Off late I have been living with the feeling that I've been a big failure in this field. Hence its but obvious that job change has been very high on my agenda whenever I prepared / reviewed my to do list.
But this year, my situation is totally different in the sense that I have already changed the job. Managed to do it just at the end of last year. Hence now that one item is crossed off my list. Though just like everything related to life; its not a perfect arrangement, rather far from it. All said and done, one of the major factors in opting for this job has been the fact that its in Greater Noida. And I live in Gurgaon some 63 km away from it. Considering the type of traffic you encounter in Delhi NCR, Daily commuting on this stretch is nothing short of a nightmare .
Enough to drive you Insane. Hence my original question.

Its not the question of time only,  this 2-3  hours spend while stuck  in traffic really drain you of all the energy. Hence by the time I reach home.I find myself unable to do anything worthwhile. Even in my previous job. I was reaching home by the same time only. the difference being that I use to traverse by Metro instead of driving by myself. Hence my condition was different. I could sleep in the air-conditioned coaches of metro, watch movie or listen to music. Therefore I still find myself fresh enough which is not the case now.
Also the fact that my last job was a travelling one so I don't have to go office daily.which is not the case now.
Being stuck in nightmarish traffic everyone can drive anyone crazy and I really find myself literally driving crazy!.
One of the thing motivating me to move ahead in life is goals I have set for myself. But its really tricky situation as I'm not really able to devote any time or energy in working towards these goals.

I can't really end this post on a positive note as I'm still struggling against this problem

A Slice of expat life cont.. :

Now that the time has come to bid adieu to Malaysia (Most probably) I will be going from Malaysia to India permanently in one - two weeks. I think the time is ripe for summarizing my stay in Malaysia. First of all I did not roam much in Malaysia. I just covered some major tourist destinations. Moreover most of the people I interacted with were Indian only, as my company is Indian. Thus I cannot claim that I had any major insight into Malaysian culture per se. Nonetheless my experience in Malaysia was rewarding in other senses. It does not matter at all whether I was in Malaysia or anywhere. I could be anywhere in India as well. What was special was that I was away from my comfort zone and force to break away from my daily schedule. This was an opportunity for me to start afresh. And how much did I succeeded in this; Well, let's see.

As stated before also, I come to Malaysia as part of my induction in new job. So it was not only the country but new job also. And every job has its own distinct culture. There was no similarity between my new and old job. Everything was different. There is some element of truth in change management theories when they say that first instinct of humans is to resist the change. There was already some issues involves in my joining and coming out on second day of my joining itself, the environment seems obnoxious, to say the least.

The very first shock that I experienced after coming here was regarding change in working hours. In my previous company I was a one to put in maximum no of working hours and frankly many a times I rub my colleague in wrong way because of this also. I thought of myself as a very hard working person capable of putting in the no of long hours required to get the job done. Little did I realized that realized my job profile was of a person sitting in front of laptop whole day. Plus there was a kind of ennui that comes with too much time on your hand which was a case with me in my notice period. Hence to say that I was caught unaware will be an understatement. After landing in Malaysia I realized two things. One that this is not a training but more correct word will be deputation or project. Hence rather than sitting on front of computer I needed to be on the shop-floor standing almost all day. And second that since all the projects here are running late. Therefore I need to work 12 hours daily. It was not easy for me adjust with all this. On top of all this I did not knew anything about the company culture, Nature of my colleagues, Technical details of the product we offer. All in all the situation was quite bleak.

But the biggest contradiction were the weekends, As on weekdays I was super busy but on weekends I felt that there is so much time and nothing to do. I was away from the family, no local chores to run, no friends, relatives etc. Due to time-lapse between Malaysia and India and international calling I could not even call my friends to talk to my heart's desire. So the situation was like this, Very hectic schedule on weekdays and then feeling lonely on weekends. All my colleagues were content in sleeping till noon to spend time on weekends. But I did not felt like doing that. After really think over it I did decide on two things to make better use of the situation.

One I decide that I will not sit idle on weekends. On every Sunday (and Saturdays too when free), I used to go out for sightseeing.

Second the free time on weekends was my private time, Something that I think we all long for , the time we can really use to introspect and plan for future. One of the major indulgence of mine was reading. And I really utilize this time to read as many books as I could lay my hands upon. I even subscribed to Kindly unlimited so that I can read unlimited books.

The second major problem faced by me (and most of my colleagues on deputation from India like me) was the absence to familiar foods. The problem was two pronged. First, as I'm a vegetarian I have to be on constant guard against meat, beef etc in the food. And second, Malaysia has large number of Indian but from south India, hence the so called Indian food available was south Indian foods and after a few days I got fed up from this type of food. To add to it; I have this weakness to not knowing how to cook. Due to not getting enough food. My attentiveness was also down. The first few weeks passed just like that before I could recognize the positive effect of this. My weight comes down by 3 kgs!!. It was then I realized that it's actually a blessing in disguise. While in India, I really tried hard to lose weight but to no avail. Now that this food issue has already given me a head-start. I decided to pursue it with some exercise, experimenting with food and managed to shave off further 3 kg off.

I do maintain a crazy bucket list which is mostly about new experiences. Adventure sports feature very high on that list. Bungee jumping is one think that I always wanted to do. I actually enquired places near Delhi (where I lives in India) where I can do this activity. It was not really far off (It's done near rishikesh some 300 km from Delhi). But among other things, I always used to procrastinate; giving lame excused to myself like back pain, risks involved and lack of friends. Now that I have my weekends free, I googled and find out a place in Kuala-lumpur itself where I can go and do bungee jumping. The describe that experience will take another blog post so I can conclude by saying it was once in a lifetime experience for me.

PS: Its is perhaps write only that I'm finishing this post now that I'm back in India; Looking back in the hindsight. My stint in Malaysia was an experience that I will always cherish.

A Slice of expat life :

As covered in few of my previous posts also, Since last six months I'm in Kualalumpur, Malaysia. Well not a continuous stay as I've been to India three times in this period. But those breaks were for one week only.

Although it's a temporary deputation and my family and permanent residence is still in India therefore I'm technically not an expat but for all practical purpose we can consider me an expat. Hence the title of the article.

I'm not going to harp about the so called cleanliness, etiquettes or lack of traffic dust etc that you experience once staying outside India. My article is more about the loneliness you feel when in a foreign country. That feeling of being outside of your comfort zone. That sense of unfamiliarity as your daily schedule that you are so used to changes totally. The only external factor I'm going to talk (or rather write :) about) is the problem in foods especially if you happen to be vegetarian like me.

I landed in Malaysia on 20th of February. In fact the reason I remember this date so vividly is that it was only one day after I joined my new company. Considering the notice period served after resigning in my previous company, and the issue of passport renewal; visa application etc-etc . It could be safely said that since the start of this year I was having a break from my usual daily routine; the effect of which was even more amplified when I landed in Kualalumpur.

One thing that Malaysian can really learn from us Indians is how to stand in a Metro train. I witnessed this time and again as almost every weekend I used to go to a place called Mini India wherein you can get good north India food. The problem is sometimes the train can get really crowded though not on the same level as in India on weekends.

In India people try to keep the door of the train free for movement and themselves move to interior of train-coach. But here in Malaysia this is not the case. Here it just does-not cross anybody mind to vacate the door. Even the train coaches are quite different. In India the coaches are designed so that there is more standing space to accommodate people than sets. But here it's the other way round.

Anyway back to the main topic. Much has been said about our comfort zone in so called Self-help books and the need to break the same but mostly they cover the issue on Micro level. I feed there is the comfort zone on Macro level. This sense of familiarity and security that you feed when you are in your own country. I specifically used the word security here as I personally experience this strange phenomena. Even though in India I'm staying in perhaps the most unsafe area you can find across all the Big Metropolitan cities (Delhi!!!). In Delhi NCR there is no surety of your safety even in your house. And compared to that Malaysia is much more safer. Still I cannot get rid of this nagging feeling of insecurity that I'm in a foreign country and hence cannot do as I wish. The biggest contribution to the atmosphere of unfamiliarity is the language.

Another problem of being an Indian in a foreign country is that you have to live with a sense of shame. One because of having this reputation of rape capital in the world.

And second because we don't hesitate from exhibition of debauchery even when outside India. Infact we indulge even more so in such behavior thinking that nobody knows us here. Not reflecting on the fact that they do know us. They know us as Indians. No matter how much we rave about other people being hypocrite in stereotyping all Indians in one mould. We forget that this mould is made based on these small unconscious actions by us only.

Other major and noticeable thing was when you realize that you are without a root in such places. There is no history attached with the surrounding. You cannot say that I was born here or at the place few hours of road journey from here. You cannot claim to know the people living in various parts of the country. You don't have any participation in the culture of this place. You don't share the history of this place. The ups and downs witnessed by this city in its journey since time immemorial.

You are just like a guest staying temporarily in a guest house before moving to your destination eventually. The aspect where this difference is most glaring is the politics. To me the this is the single most important differentiator that tells if you really belong to a country or not. Getting involved in politics shows if you really feel passion for the particular country or not. It very easy to see that Indians residing here who by nature are so much involved in politics (In India it should be declared as the national pass-time) Become totally un-interested in Malaysian politics. It really shows that in their heart they feel that they don't belong here.

Cont... 

Goals 2016 revisited !

I intended to write this post on July 2, But looks like I'm going to be full one month late. What's so special about July, Well it was exactly half way in this year. But seems like procrastination is my second name.
But still... better late than never. I need to review the goals I set at the start of this year to see if I'm on right track or completely off the track. So without much ado here the list ...

1) Books - 15 books,
Ha.. I love that this was the first goal I set. The reason being that I have actually crossed more than double of this goals. No kidding. I've actually already read 32 books in this year. So did I committed ultimate cardinal sin of setting a too easy goal.
Well not exactly. The goals was based on how many books I read last year with a resolution that I will read bigger and classics books this year. and in that way the set target was pretty reasonable. So what happened after that.
I changed my job and then transferred to Malaysia for six months. Here my daily routine is much different than back in India. So I found lot of time and hence could finish so many books.  Two of the things standing out in my over-achieving of this goals is
a) Measurable - As done last year too. I update my target and progress on goodsread. This helps me to monitor my progress time-wise and know I'm lagging behind or not.
b) Resource availability - I took kindle unlimited membership which allows me to read unlimited amount of books ( in their special archive off course) without paying anything
c) Time resource - As stated earlier also, My daily routine allows me to devote sufficient time to this activity
The most important thing is that I actually like this and this is my one of the most favorite pastime.
Hence passion to achieve this goal is not at all missing.
Here is the link for my Goodread progress.
https://www.goodreads.com/challenges/3890-2016-reading-challenge

2) Blog - 12 full blog posts.
On goal 2 and we're already on the slippery territory
Well this is my sixth blog post. The initial target translated into one blog post one month . So I'm actually one month behind. And maybe more considering this is the end of this month also.  This goal is not a piece of cake at all because I'm suffering from writers block which is affecting my other goals also.
a) Measurable - Sure this goals is with the number being exact multiple of the number of months in the year, its also very easy to track too.
b) Resource availability - Writing only one blog post is not really much of the work, So non availability of time is not really an excuse. The problem is not able to find any topic to write.

3) Physical fitness
This is a tricky goal. The measuring parameters that I set earlier were participating in Delhi half marathon and join swimming.
Prima facia I could not acheive both. As I'm in Malaysia and not really practicing racing. Nor did I joined swimming.
But still I would not say that I failed in this goal so far because I have made some progress in improving my physical fitness. I have started waking up early and doing some stretching / basic exercise daily. Attaining physical fitness is perhaps one of the most important goals for me and I still have a long way to go.
a) Measurable - My initial parameters are no more valid now so I set a holy grail of measurable target in physical fitness. WEIGHT LOSS. As per my last medical checkup I was 10 kg overweight. Due to my new routine and problem of food I've already reduced 3 kg. Give of take few hundred grams. My target is to roughly reduce 3 kg more. So the measurable target is 75 kg.
I understand weight loss is not everything in weight loss. But this will be starting step
As for swimming, my apartment has a swimming pool. So I'm doing swimming depending on time availability.
b) Resource - About time resource, I've more or less covered in previous step. But resource in this regards  many other thing also. Like joining gym, Foods. Unfortunately I'm not so lucky on those counts. But still I'm trying to do the best I can.

4) Communication - Join toastmaster and complete one stage.
Unfortunately I could not join toastmasters because of time shortage. After - that I though of preparing five speeches and keeping them ready but unfortunately even that too did not happened. Even though the goal of blogging is also someway related to it and the fun activities as watching Hollywood movies also go long way towards improving communication. Still I would considered this goal as part of written and verbal communication and hence other activities cannot replace it wholly.
Good news is still I can catch up on this goals.
STATUS : NO PROGRESS, NEED TO CATCH UP

5) Qualification : Complete my correspondence degree (Optional : check for MBA)
Unfortunately another big failure, for last six months no progress on the same.
PS : Start working on this as soon as I"m back in India

6) Finance : Prepare finance plan, start investing in equity
I don't have a concrete financial plan plus decision to start investing in equity is also on hold due to the prevalent market conditions.
However my finances are better than before, thanks for my new job. Also I'm seriously thinking about buying my own house and hence any decision about investing in equity will need to be put on hold.

7) Recreation : Lean one new hobby
Not able to work on this part as I"m not in India. However I would still lean more about this music.
Another goal on which I need to start acting in however small way possible ASAP

8) Technical : Lean one new software - Solidworks
Another very important goals slipping on
PS : Need to install this as soon as I"m in India or check on google
Achieving this particular skill is really very important for my professional growth.

9) Entrepreneurship : Prepare business plan with road-map
This is one of my long standing dream. But there are many hurdles in the way such as
a) Lack of time (looks like cliche excuse, but there is some element of truth in this)
b) Lack of direction or a business idea : I"m not really sure what exactly I should do
c) Lack of finances : I don't really have any money to invest in this so the business model needs to be the one with almost zero starting capital required.

That all, Phew ! Good that I do-not have a big list. As clear from above, a lot of goals planned at the start of the Year are totally neglected.
I very urgently need to set up a time-table for regular follow up on these goals. Perhaps with each of my blog post, I just need to have a look at the goals to check if I'm missing to workout on anyone.