Some reflections

  This is not my standard time of the year for reflection. But off-late life is not really following the standard template either. Generally, I reserve these ramblings for my birthday (when you feel the pressure to make some meaning of your life) or in the starting of year (when you are fueled by adrenaline of new year resolutions and stuff). However, I realized that it’s almost two years since I have last written any blog post. Writing helps to clear the cobwebs in my mind and like any place which has not been cleaned in two years. My mind is also in total disarray and perhaps putting these thoughts on paper will give me some clarity. 

So here we go.

If I look into the past few years. I had these episodes of restlessness before. The most dominant feelings during those episodes have been of stagnation, of getting stuck and not really moving ahead with my plans. And this applies to both my personal as well as professional life. But this time it has been different in so many ways. The change has been drastic. Personally, I'm in the post Covid phase now. And for me, Covid has been a life altering (almost becomes life ending) event. I had my second daughter in October 2021. And my life will not be the same now as it was before these two events. Professionally, even though I'm in same job for a bit more than around 3 years now. Still our journey in India is reaching the tipping point. I have found success and growth in the company too. My last promotion involving a bigger role was at the starting of the year (it involves monetary benefits as well). I also added a professional certification to my name last December. 

As we are full of contradictions as part of basic human nature, it’s very difficult to pinpoint a a specific reason which caused me to reflect and introspect. Perhaps, it’s a sign that my mental state is a bit disturbed now. Just like an average common person only remembers God when he is in trouble. Else he is too busy in this life to bother about it. Similarly, perhaps my life was too smooth and rewarding last year. And now that I have hit a roadblock, I need to recalibrate my mental balance and writing is one of the tools available to me to achieve the same. 

Or Perhaps, It totally different case. I was too busy in this mindless rat race that I had no time to indulge in the luxury of introspection. I have experienced that too much work can have that effect on you. You work like mad at ungodly hours and often, you don't even feel the impact of this rush, this lack of time on your mental and physical well-being. 

Anyways, irrespective of the underlying cause, the fact remains that I find myself in the zone of self-reflection and introspection. My experience says that I tend to get really stuck up in this zone even at the cost of taking actions. So, after a nice break of a few years. I'm again going back to the metaphorical drawing board and chalking out my plans. Let’s. see how it goes as far as this try is concerned. As always, time is very limited and you feel overwhelmed just by the thought of things that you want to achieve, Practically I want the whole world when it comes to my personal and professional goals. A very natural consequence of this is that you try to do too much of everything at the same time and end up achieving nothing. No matter how cliché it may sound. The way forward is only through prioritizing and focused work.

Leaning Spanish: As cliché as it sounds, this was the goal I had chalked out for myself when I last tried my hands in setting goals for myself. My progress has been disappointing to say the least over the last 3 years. I was full of enthusiasm and curiosity when I joined what is my present company now three years back. As our head-quarter was in Spain. I was very keen on learning Spanish. However, the air released out of the metaphorical balloon pretty soon. I have tried and retried enough different methods to learn Spanish that I can write a blog post on this topic. Unfortunately, I still cannot write or speak even basic conversational level Spanish.

Fitness: Again, this has been my default goal for many years. As fitness is difficult to objectively measure. I can’t really quantify my progress or rather the lack of it. Going back 25 years back, I was a wafer thin, almost malnourished boy in school with no interest in outdoor sports of any kind. In my limited ways, I have tried to be more fit and increase my stamina. I had episodes of frequent illness; chronic lower back pain and I have flirted with border line sugar as well. I have a family history of diabetes and heart problems (which I have used as excuses on more than one occasion). But I have some of my high points as well. I used to cycle from home to school in advanced classes, which I continued even in my college as well. I had tried my hands in some adventure sports like rafting, rappelling, bungee, paragliding and some trekking. I participated in the half marathon (technically 10km run) twice and managed to finish it. And very recently, I had a severe bout of COVID and survived it. Still its an ongoing journey and I'm trying to build some consistency here. I'm not getting any younger and COVID has given me long lasting aftereffects. 

I'm going to draw a line here. As I have stated before. It’s easy to fall into this trap and make listing your goals a goal in itself and spend majority of your time in only planning and doing nothing. One of biggest achievements in my life is just doing it again and again without focusing much on the planning.

 

My Travel experience to Spain

 As a blogger I’m always in search of interesting topics. Combine that with my love for traveling; and travel related blogs or travelogue seems like a very natural choice to write upon. When I started blogging a good 10 years back, I tried my hand on travel blogs. However off late I have not written any post on this topic even though I’m still travelling a lot, courtesy my job. I even travelled right in the peak of pandemic.

Probably as most of my travelling is work related, it means a very hectic schedule with no time to observe the place, assimilate the unique culture around. I used to joke around that even though I claim to have visited 11 countries, It actually means 11 airports and 11 hotels. But this time is very different. Now I must spend almost a month in a new place away from my country. And I think I am well positioned to observe and pen (or type) my thoughts.

So here we go.

I landed in Spain on 9 of January 2022 and will be flying back on 6^th of February. That is almost one month (or four weeks to be more exact). This is my first visit to this country. Even though business visits generally are very tightly scheduled leaving very little time for recreation or fooling around; 4 weeks is a lot of time and more importantly, it also means 4 weekends. Plus, I get the opportunity to interact with my co-workers who are native of this country. Hence, I hope to get some reflections about Spanish society and overall, about Spanish culture from my visit.

I joined this company right in the first wave of Pandemic, Due to the travel restrictions and general fear associated with COVID, it was not possible for me to attend the induction training in Spain. We thought (like everyone else in the world) that the COVID and travel restrictions is just a matter of few months. But now it’s clear in the hindsight that this indeed is the new normal. Hence, we resumed our normal business travel and after a roller coaster ride of company restructuring (It need another post). I landed up in Spain for my introductory training full 1 year and 9 months after I had joined this company.

To put things in perspective, my company has two offices in Spain, One in Castellar de Valles (near Barcelona) and second near Burgos. I had no prior idea before, but this fact has lot of relevance as in Spain also there is some under-current of resentment between two regions.

I’m not a history major, so not sure if I’m the right person to write on history of even my native country India. Leave aside Spain. But whatever I could gather with my interactions and after a quick study on Internet. I understand that Catalonia or Cataluña as it’s called in the native language is an autonomous community inside Spain. Way back into Middle Ages, this region has its own distinct culture and institutional system including courts and constitutions. In 1960s, it revolted against a large and cumbersome Spanish army and was briefly proclaimed as a republic under French protection

For some periods, its unique culture and language was supressed, and Spanish was declared as its official language. During the Spanish transition to democracy (1975–1982), Catalonia regained self-government and is now one of the most economically dynamic communities of Spain. However, as I have experienced in India also, these kind of separatist movement does not die totally. Some small spark always remains deep buried in the psyche of people which is fanned by politician (Politicians, it seems like are cut from same cloth everywhere). I also understood the movement was again rekindled in 2017 when Catalonia parliament conducted a referendum and declared independence unilaterally. The Spanish senate in turn, termed this referendum illegal, they dissolved the incumbent government and conducted snap election The Spanish supreme court even imprisoned seven former ministers and convicted several ministers including then president of Catalonia region, who fled to other European countries.

As per initial planned itinerary, I was to stay to 2 weeks in Sabadell which is town near Castellar, then travel for a week to Burgos. After then come back to Sabadell before returning to India. Burgos lies in separate autonomous region of Castile and León. It has a very rich historical and religious significance. I will not dwell into this part much as then the post will be long. It was comparatively a smaller city and has more of small town / countryside kind of vibes.  It has more native Spanish European population compared to Barcelona which is more international and urban.

My experience in Burgos was very different than in Sabadell / Castellar del vales. One we were travelling with colleagues rather than on our own, secondly as it’s a smaller town and we were staying here for a much shorter time. Our hosts were more cordial to us. The town was very picturesque even though much colder. We used to roam around in the evening with the complete group most of the times. For a smaller town, Burgos has many places to see including famous Cathedral and Museum of evolution. I understand it has been a site of excavation too. We were travelling as a group of around 7-8 people out of which me and my colleague were only two Asian. We were a bit of exotic animals for others with all our idiosyncrasies like vegetarian foods (they were quite amused by difference between vegetarian and vegan).

In Sabadell we were more on our own. We were only two visiting guests there and barring two team dinners, we were eating out on our own for full three weeks. The local population has more proportion from other ethnicities compared to Burgos. In Barcelona which was 45 min drive from this place. We could find many Indians and our neighbours across the border (Pakistan)

This difference also shows in my interaction with colleagues in both the offices. The Colleagues in Burgos has probably never interacted with Asian person before and were more limited in communicating in English. However, the interesting thing is that they were more open to us compared to their colleagues from Barcelona.

My return was from Bilboa as the direct connectivity between Burgos and Barcelona was not very good. Bilbao is an important port city in northern Spain and is capital of Basque country. So, I had chance of visiting three different parts of Spain although Bilbao was just a stopover to be honest.

PS: My return was postponed by around a week because unfortunately my COVID test report has turned out to be positive. Apparently, I’m a COVID magnet, my hide and seek with this virus needs another post on its own, so for now it suffices to say that I’m going to experience bit more of Spain even though I will be mainly confined in my room only for this period.

I have personally experienced that how people are quick to stereotype or pigeonhole anything. So, I will refrain from generalizing my impression of Spain or Europe based on my limited interaction with people here. Also, most of the people that I interacted during my visit to Spain were my colleagues at work. So, the company relations between both the business units, the power dynamics and the relative hierarchies also plays a very important role. I have tried to observe everything around me with an open mind as far as possible without any conscious bias or prejudice on my side.

My first visit to Europe was way back in 2006 when I went to Austria. It’s a big gap of around 16 years and these are two different places so perhaps I’m comparing apples to oranges, but I noticed that I lot of things has changed. In my first visit we were like exotic animals in these places but now I could see many Indians and our neighbours across the borders, Moreso in big / tourist cities like Barcelona but even in interiors of Spain and in cities of religious significance where there is even less likelihood of seeing any Indian person. Heck, we even could find Indian restaurants in those places, so maybe India has done a good job of pushing their soft culture around (Yoga, cuisine, Bollywood etc). Another thing that I could notice is that now gap between India and Europe is decreasing in two of the most noticeable area at-least in my book, cleanliness, and road etiquette. When I last toured Europe, there was such a vast difference in general cleanliness that I felt like I have landed in another world altogether, everything was squeaky clean. However, this was not the case this time around. Even though generally it was clean, I could still find trash on places like public parks, on my hotel roof as well as downtown market area.  India is still more dirty but when you factor-in the abundant dust here due to topical weather and lack of greenery combined with our humongous population which is almost double than that of combined Europe, the difference does not feel so stark anymore. For sure, it’s much greener than the part of India I live in, but here I’m talking about general cleanliness.

Second part is about road etiquettes, When I last toured Europe. I was staying in a hotel at riverside with only a road separating the same. One fine morning, I was just standing outside my hotel gazing at the river. I realized after some time that good 3-4 cars had stopped on the road waiting patiently for me to pass. All the cliches regarding rarely using horn were indeed true in that region. However, this time, the situation was different. During my full stay of around a month; I could observe multiple instances of people jumping red lights, Not giving right of way to pedestrians. Off-course compared to the absolute nightmarish mess that we have here, it is still much better.

I don’t know how much I have left in this company, considering the uncertainties in our business. We are in post-pandemic times now. It may very well be my last visit to Spain. But it gave me good insights about people from another culture and I realized that we are so alike yet so different.

My experience with "Becoming a morning person"

 16 August 2021

Today is exactly one and half month since I started this new routine called “Become a morning person. I understand this name might be a trademark of Habit Strong who run this program and I took their subscription for one month only. But still, I relate to this new routine with this name only. Hence, I will use BMP program in this post for sake of relevance. 

I enrolled in this program in August (last month). I had the option of extending the subscription further at the end of the month, but I choose not to go for it. My rational behind the decision was that I don’t want to be dependant on the program for ever. I had a experience with some amazing programs that its very hard to shake your dependence on these program later. I had to test if I had the discipline and will-power to continue this new routine and to actually make it a habit. Midway in the month without this subscription. I found this to be an apt time for some reflection.

First about waking up on 4.45am which is one the criteria. When I joined this program, they have two morning modules starting at 5.00 and 6.00 am respectively. I went ahead with 5.00am option as I thought that I can wake up at 6.00am without much effort. My normal waking time hovers around that mark only. If I’m trying to inculcate a new more productive daily routine, then better to take some stretch and go for 5.00 am routine. Plus, during my Covid illness in May-June. I was waking up sometimes at 3.00am also more due to insomnia but that is a discussion for another time.

So, I selected 5.00am option. I faced problem right away in my first month only as I can’t set my evening routine to ensure that I sleep by 9.00pm as my family watches tv as late as 11.00 to 11.30 pm which is in our bedroom only. Only because of my new routine, it was not possible to shut-down the tv before 9.00 pm. So, I need to figure some other way out which frankly I am not able to do even now. Sleeping in other room is not a possibility for some reasons. A natural consequence of sleeping late is the tiredness that you feel immediately on waking up. The first activity on waking up as per new routine is mediation session. I could not get maximum results out of mediation as very seldom I was not feeling sleepy. I kept on pushing with the hope that my body will get adjusted to this routine. I have some partial success in the sense that now my biological clock is almost set to 4 to 4.45. But my quality of sleep is far from perfect. I still keep on tossing and turning in the bed and as a result I am not totally refreshed when I wake up.

There have been very rate instances when I feel really sleepy in the night before I hit the bed. But when it happened, I wake up more refreshed and had a much better mediation session. I am still not being able to decode the exact activity I did differently on those days. One major area to focus on is the last one hour before sleeping time. Fortunately, I had dinner well one hour before the sleeping time. I had tried both the approaches regarding how I should spend this hour. Approach one was to immerse myself into Lecture on Robotics (completing introductory course on Robotic is one the target that I have chosen to track daily), The course content was so over the top and immediately I felt sleepy, but unfortunately it happened only once and did not repeat when I tried second time. I also tried to utilize this hour in other important activities / tasks that I had earmarked for the day. But nothing seems to work. Secondly approach is trying to relax in this last hour, preparing yourself mentally for sleeping, this is actually what Habit strongly recommends too, I was not able to implement it as regularly as I want as there are so many things circulating in your mind at the end of a long days that I’m not able to relax, when on rare occasions when I could do it. I felt relaxed. You could say that my evening routine is still a work in process. The only progress that I had made is that now the fact that television is on when I’m trying to sleep does not bother me that much. Earlier I used to have the pang of guilt if I’m not in bed by 11 o’clock as ideally, I should be asleep by 10 itself. But this guilt only used to make this worse. Gradually but surely, now I am not really bothered by this fact as much. 

PS: When I started tracking tasks daily to form a habit. My emphasis was more on ensuring that I complete all the task / activities listed for that day. Ticking all the boxes on daily basis was giving me a sense of accomplishment. However later I realize that this tracking sheet cannot ensure if I’m spending quality time on any activity listed or just going through the motions as a formality. I can indicate one activity as complement even if I spend barely 5 minutes on the same. Second problem was that this program mainly focusses on mindfulness which for me is being in present and focussed on your current task in hand. In my case, I was so focussed on completing all the tasks listed for the day that I was doing one task and my mind was drifting on the other task that I also must achieve on the same day. Whole purpose of this exercise was getting lost. Hence, I decided to change my approach and focus more on the current task in hand. As a result, I’m slipping on some of the activities lately, But I’m consciously ignoring it and putting all my focus on the current activity. Its not easy as my mind is used to working on the multi-tasking mode, most of the time I’m distracted and overwhelmed by the mountain of urgent works which are pending. This was one of major reason why my daily meditation sessions are not as effective as they should be as apart for apparent tiredness and lack of sleep, most of the time I’m making the list of urgent activities pending since last day. I’m working on the concept of mindfulness and being in the present to improve my mediation session.

30-Aug-2021

As we are near to end of this second month after BMP program from Habit-Strong. I think one quick review of what happened in last two weeks is in order as I had some good learnings out of it. On 19th and 20th of this month I had to travel to Pune for some office related work, we had a sales review and objective setting session. Hence, I had to leave one day before and come back one day after. Immediately on my return I had to go to Delhi on Raksha Bandhan. In the nutshell I was away from home for almost one full week. And specially in Pune, the daily routine was like a typical sales conference which essentially means cocktail dinner till 12.00 or 1.00am in late night. Combined that with the food available in the particular resort. I had issues with digestion combined with lack of sleep. After coming back from Pune, I had to spend around four days in Delhi. As a result of this, there was a good break of more than a week from my daily routine. For these 7-8 days, there was no waking up early morning and mediation, workout sessions. And I was not eating right either. I felt weak. But since my whole momentum was gone. I had to again start from scratch. As I had mentioned earlier, I had enrolled into one month course called BMP from Habit-strong and decided to continue the momentum built into the course. But now I don’t have the option of guided BMP course to fall back into the routine. I always believed that physical and mental fitness goes hand in hand. The fact that my physical fitness has gone down a notch also played a role and I had difficulty in going back to my old regime for one and a half month. Last full week was spent in gradually coming back to track. And today on Monday I has again some resemblance of sanity after chaos filled two weeks.

So, what did I learned from this episode? Let us see.

First forming any new Habit is a long and slow process and you need patience and perseverance. Its like your new year resolutions. You start full of energy for a few days. The main test comes when there is a break for a few days (or a week as in my case). Once you loose momentum and had to start from scratch again. Its very easy to feel down without any motivation to continue. Its imperative to come out of this zone as soon as possible. Personally, what really works in my case if to focus on small – small actionable. To be in the moment and let go of lofty long-term goals for some time. Ultimately one of the major objectives of all these activities is to practice mindfulness. Keep your ultimate objective in back of mind. But focus and concentrate on your current activity, one task at a time. Else its very easy to be bogged down. I have managed to start the daily routine again and I’m hopeful to be back on track, gradually but surely.

To work hard or not

 In corporate life or in personal life as well, there is one question that I often ponder upon. Is hard-work over-rated or rather is hard-work enough. What plays a more important role in shaping your carrier. Your hard work or the opportunities you got.

I have always been a believer into the fact that most of us can work hard. Sometimes it’s an obligation as your job demands you to work hard. Some jobs are inherently tough than others. But I’m concerned about another scenario. Where you have the option of fooling around as there is nobody to micro-manage you. You can afford to take it easy if you want to. In these kind of cases, Hard work is more of a choice than on obligation. When you are motivated internally rather than by some external factors.

For me opportunity and appreciation are equally important if not more than hard work. As I stated earlier, most of us can work hard. What is sad is that we don’t get appreciation or acknowledgement for working hard especially when the hard work is by choice. Another important aspect is the opportunity to work hard.

I have completed 17 years of working experience this month. Even though I found this concept of total experience being a parameter of your growth, a bit overrated. Sometimes we have just passed the time going through motions rather than evolving. Still, it’s a good time to reflect.

On more than one occasion, I have found myself at crossroad when working hard is concerned. It started by taking initiative, by going above and beyond my standard job description. At first there is appreciation but then it gradually dries up. Either other person (peers, superiors) starts taking me for granted, or become insecure that I want to steal their thunder. But gradually they stopped acknowledging that I’m taking the initiative. Often, I also had a motive behind taking this initiative which is related to transitioning to a different role or overall growth. So, when the other person refused to acknowledge your efforts or conspicuously denies you the opportunity for transition / growth. You are faced with a dilemma and have two options.

One option is to stop taking these initiatives. It’s very easy to do as they are not even acknowledging these initiatives in first place. Plus, you get more free time to fool around. It definitely looks alluring.

Second option is to keep working on the initiatives. To build on the foundation you have made with your hard work. Sometimes you feel down and wronged upon, but you keep pushing yourself.

Here is why I feel second option is the correct thing to go. Firstly, inaction is the worst thing when you are feeling down and out. It adds to your sense of helplessness. It will start eating you out gradually and makes you a bitter person.

On the other hand, if you own this initiative and keeps on working on it regardless of lack of acknowledgement. You will have internal satisfaction. It’s imperative to seek your validation inside not outside. You cannot let go of your hard work just because someone is not appreciating you for it. The main aim should be to get new experiences and insights. With no pressure you can focus on quality of work rather than quantitative part of it.

 

 

My movie recommendation

 I have been avid book reader almost whole of my life. And where movies are concerned, I inherited this from my mother as she is a keen movie buff. I watched lots of movies with her and later courtesy OTT subscriptions. Since I have consumed so many books or movies, it’s very difficult to pinpoint a single book or movie. But I will try.

I watched this movie in a training workshop organized by one of my previous companies. You would normally expect some motivational movies to be screened at such trainings, but this movie was different. The title of the movie was 12 angry men. It is an old classic and one of rare English movies in black and white that I had chance of watching. That training itself was very different and unique which probably amplified the effect the movie had on me.

Putting concisely, the movie is about how our prejudices and inherent biases cloud our thinking. How every man relates an incident differently depending on his past experiences. This movie is about a jury of 12 person who must decide whether the convict is guilty of murder or not. The main protagonist is the only person who believes that the person is innocent. How he managed to convince fellow jury members forms the crux of the movie. The main premises is it must be a unanimous decision hence the protagonist has to reach out and convince every team member through different tactics. It was an engrossing watch.

I specifically remember the character of a old man and more particularly one scene where he was putting across his point of view. Some cough very loudly he just stopped talking. I don’t know why what I found that scene very impactful. I categorize myself as a good listener. When I am explaining something, I give total attention to what others are speaking and stop to let them complete something. Whereas almost all the other person I know seems to have this limitation that they can only either listen or speak at the time.

I had many take-aways from this movie. First if that I have many inherent prejudices and biases in me due to various reasons. And it’s very difficult to us to admit and see our biases and we normally surround ourselves with people who says only the things we want to hear. Everyone likes to think himself or herself as a balanced person only.

Secondly this movie also teaches about how a team works and there are lots of lessons about leadership, teamwork, and assertive behaviour in the way the main protagonist goes about convincing everyone. True to real life, everyone is closed and rigid about their decision.

Sub-consciously I had many take ways form this movie. As on reflecting, I have realized that I am also very rigid about my opinion and outlook about others and very reluctant to change them. Secondly there is very fine line between being assertive and being dominating, aggressive and no matter how hard I try, Invariable I do cross over to becoming aggressive or else I become totally passive and disinterested in the proceeding. If you truly to study how a leader should work. This movie is worth watching again and again.

PS: Interestingly, this movie was also later made in Hindi too with the name “Ek ruka hua faisla”. It was a decent attempt and had good actors like Pankaj Kapoor. But I liked the original one better as it was more subtle.

My experiment with Robotics course

 I don’t like indecisiveness. One of the qualities that I really admire and try to inculcate in myself is decisiveness. Taking any decision is only the first part towards achieving any goals and if we dither right at the first part; Then achieving the goals is almost impossible. I have been very big into setting big lofty goals for myself during new year. I followed this practice for some years, but the end results were not as per my expectation. One major problem with this process is that once you lose momentum or there is break in continuity; it’s very difficult to start again as New year is gone and more often than not, you wait for next new year to again start the process. However, I had this realization off late not to link my goals or objective with new year. But to strive continuously towards my goals. Be prepared that I may not achieve it in first time. There will be breaks and gaps, but I need to pull myself together, learn from last experience and start afresh.

 One of the objectives that I have set for myself is to learn Robotics right from the basics and earn some sort of accreditation for the same. I decided to act on this plan in first lockdown that happened last year. I enrolled into one online course covering basics of Robotic offered by IIT. Part of the temptation was the brand value of IIT. Unfortunately, I started on the wrong foot as I missed the starting date of course and when I checked the deadline for first submission was already upon me. It was a quiz that I need to answer, I had no other option but to search for the answers on google without going into basics. Immediately once I enrolled in this course, I realized that I am out of my depth here. Plus, the professor teaching style was also not very conducive. It felt like they are just parroting their lines like a Robot in a Robotics course. I tried very hard to keep up with the course and managed to probably finish it too. The last and final stage was a examination to get the certificate. I choose not to appear for the exam as it was clear that I was not able to grasp the course completely. I still believe that professor teaching that course was also equally responsible for my decision as his communication was not very clear.

After a brief hiatus, I found another course on same topic and again enrolled in the same. The starting was much better than previous course, but I got stuck in some urgencies. Got disillusioned as the course was again increasingly becoming tough for me for follow and I left it midway too. I admit that professor teaching this course was a big improvement over the previous one. In both the courses, one major topic that I struggled to grasp was advance mathematic and abstract concept related with the same. Even though I had studies mathematics in school. I was never any good at it. Plus its good 20 years since I had left school and most of the things are forgotten now.

Then around one month back, armed with my new motivation post COVID recovery, I again enrolled in one more robotics course. One immediate realization is that Professor teaching this course is again like the first one in the sense that his communication is not very clear and easy to understand. I had almost made my mind to leave this course but then the big question is how to achieve my ultimate objective.

Finally, after some reflection on this topic, I reached two conclusions.

1)     There is a serial lack of quality in our educational institutes and I’m kind of disillusioned with brand IIT now. As a diploma holder, I always carried this impression that IIT is the cream of educational institutions where engineering is concerned. But after personally experiencing the teaching method of some of the professors in IIT. I am forced to change my opinion. I can give some benefit of doubt for the point that online teaching mode is new for them also and its very much different than old physical mode of teaching. But the other points regarding how easy they made the concept to grasp for their student is equally valid. Perhaps their thinking is that the students they get is already cream of the creams who can grasp these complex concepts. But this online course is designed for anyone who is interested to learn robotics and not everyone will be really sharp or bright. If these teachers can only work with exceptional student. Then I would rate them lower that the teachers in tier II institute where professor can make even average student grasp the basic of engineering aspects. Other important aspect is regarding basic communication skills where I find the teachers severely lacking. If you are not able to form simple coherent sentences that the listener could understand than your communication skills are really poor, and you need to work on it.

 

2)     Whether I like it or not. The quality of teaches that I am going to encounter will be just like these only. If I still want to achieve my objective than I need to look beyond them to understand and grasp the concept. With the wealth of information available at hand courtesy YouTube and google and other means at my disposal (Books recommended by these teachers). It is possible to understand the basics of this subject even without the help of these professors too. And it looks like that this is only way forward. I need to temper my expectation that these teachers will actually makes me understand the concept. The onus is on me and frankly I have been guilty of not devoting enough time on this topic. The key to mastering any subject is investing sustained effort and time.

 

Hence, I have decided to give this course one more tries. This time give my best efforts and if still the results are not up to my expectation. Then I will start looking for options outside India other than IIT. I already have one options available with me in form of CourseEra but I find it much more expensive compared to NPTEL that I am currently using which is free for the course and charges only for the exams and hence the certification. Perhaps that is the reason I’m so casual about it as it does not cost any money to enrol and then to leave the course. Maybe I need to invest my own money to reach level of seriousness required for achieving my target.

 

Before I opt for option of CourseEra. I will give one final try to my current course to the best of my abilities.

 

 

My experiment with mobile Detox

I would like to start with an honest disclosure, even though I had the realization that I am spending too much time on my mobile phone with all warning signs like itchy eyes, disturbed sleep pattern and headache; I have not taken any conscious step towards reducing my time on mobile. I had convinced myself that the problem has not reached alarming status yet. It is purely due to certain circumstances that I was away from my mobile phone for a few days.

So, what happened!

I accidently dropped my phone and the murphy's law took care of the rest. Even with protective cover around it, I broke my screen and the phone stopped working (so did my heart for a few moments!). As replacing it with original Samsung screen was damm expensive (almost 50% of phone cost itself), I got it repaired with a local screen with some apprehensions and as luck would have it. That screen also stopped working after two days, I just lied down a bed my mobile in my pocket and apparently the local screen could not withstand this pressure. Ultimately, I made peace with the fact that I need to shell out some bucks and get myself a brand-new phone. However, I was in another town plus I need to wait for my salary to credit before I could buy new phone. With the new phone, I got the sermon from home minister that I need to buy protection case with flip cover for increased protection. Hence, I had to wait again for few more day before I could use the phone again.

All in all, I was without my phone for a continuous stretch of few days. So, I could get taste of this so-called Mobile detox for a few days.

So how did the experience of forced mobile detox worked out for me!

At first, I thought that it was no big deal. I carry this hidden superiority complex that I have managed to stay away from the lure of Instagram or mobile games like candy-crush. I do not feel this inexplicable urge of checking WhatsApp status of other people all the time, in fact I do not check WhatsApp status at all. Most of the time, I do not have any OTT subscription on my phone. I have enough constructive habits like reading etc and most of all. I have my laptop which almost feels like an extension of my body. 

I came to realize about my folly in matter of few hours only, how something which looks totally innocuous like taking out my phone to check some random question on Quora consumes so much of your time because it has become a second nature to do it once after 10 minutes. Another big-time killer are suggested videos on Facebook, it was an eye opener for me as I thought only posting random updates or stalking profiles of other person on Facebook was addictive. Once I stayed away from phone; did I realize that suggested videos are perhaps the most addictive thing on Facebook, and they have a complex AI algorithm which tracks and monitors the videos that you watch and present a heady cocktail of more such videos which are hard to resist.

Subconsciously checking the phone has become a compulsion, a habit which is very hard to shake away. As a result of this, my attention span is limited to few minutes only. Gone are the days when I could at least concentrate on task in hand for a few hours. Now no matter how urgent the work is, the maximum uninterrupted time I could devote to it are few minutes. Few months back, I had an epiphany to add some academic certifications to my resume, taking advantage of variety of online courses offered by universities. I zeroed in a course in Robotics offered by IIT. It started with great pomp and show. I even bragged about this to few of my close friends hoping that would create positive pressure on me. Heck, I even wrote one blog post on this topic (My first blog posts this year incidentally.) Few lectures down the lines and I found myself struggling. My first conclusion was that course content, and the teaching method were not up to the mark and most of the students for this course would struggle. Other excuse was that I started the course on last moment, almost missed the first assignment date and played catch up for much duration of the course. 

After some time, I enrolled into another course by second IIT. The teacher and course content were much improvement over previous course but ironically the net outcome was same that I left this course also midway. In fact, this leads me to very uncomfortable episode in the past when I left my correspondence degree in the midway at the last step as I was almost burnt-out.

 Obviously, there were any other factors responsible for this, but one primary factor was my attention span. I was really struggling to maintain concentration during the duration of one lecture of 60 min. The conspicuous social media is a big distraction which is not helping in any sense at all.

The experience of forced Mobile phone detox taught me that in todays hyper-connected age. Its very difficult to limit your exposure on unproductive application. Time management sound like a very boric archaic concept but its more relevant in these times.

I had uninstalled Facebook from my old phone but forgot to do it on my new phone and in no time, I find myself spending more and more time on Facebook. So, I uninstalled it again relying on browser-based model to check some update once or twice a day.

Though not related to phone usage, I also removed Quora password from my laptop as it was also proving to be a distraction. 

Though a great devours of books I had almost stopped reaching books for past few months. Hence, I reactivated kindle and started reading a book after long time and as luck would have it, the main protagonist also switched off her phone so that she could focus on her work.

In the nutshell I could surmise that this action is not something that can be done successfully in isolation, you must be constantly on guard as subconsciously we replace one app with another, even innocent looking, or so-called productive apps can get you hooked. The temptation of checking your phone time and again is hard to resist. It like a lifestyle change.