Toastmaster fifth project- Your Body speaks

I gave my fifth project in toastmaster.

Title was "your body speaks". Speech objectives was to effectively use gestures and body language.

So here's the speech.

Here is the end of my creativity. Just after four speeches; I ran short of speech ideas. That's it, Just can't think of any more speech topics. I even contemplated giving speech on topic like dumbness, stupidity with one of the main symptom as ..... Not getting any speech ideas after four speeches.

You people have such high hopes from me but I disappoint. I feel like Rahul Gandhi. I got a panic attack, was unable to speak anything for two three days . I was symbolically and literally "Speechless". And then I had this eureka moment. An idea to give speech on not speaking.

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Mr. Toastmaster, fellow members and dear friends. My speech today is on Not to speak, but to listen

My wife says "You don't listen to me". I said "Umm. You said something, Honey".

We have learned to turn every blessing into the curse.

• We find use of nuclear energy in atomic bomb first and power reactor later.
• Many talented persons are utilizing their acting skills in politics rather than movies.
• The gift of spoken word meant to improve our relationships is actually breaking the relations. Why, because we are so intent on talking that it leaves no time for listening.

Everything that can be said regarding the need to listen has been already said. And apparently we did not Listen to it sincerely enough.

But friends, we have the solution right in front of us. And that is ............... Toastmaster.

I'll show how toastmaster helps . You can thank me later. Mr VP PR.

It started during an argument with my wife. I decided to don the hat of speech evaluator and to actively listen and evaluate her speech. I must say the opening of her speech was excellent. A purist's delight, She started by a question. The question was directed towards her husband,  "Have you lost your mind ?". It really caught my attention and made my think. Have I lost my mind, Maybe that's the reason I can't think of any speech ideas.  And Surprise-Surprise.After I finished my evaluation She was not so mad anymore. She actually forgot what she was saying.

I've managed to get in good books of my boss as I was the only person wide awake during his boring presentations. Actually I was noting down the grammatical errors. I tried the techniques of toastmasters on my friends and colleagues too. The key to appear engaged while listening is that you mentally note down the ahs. pauses and filler words. In fact I would say you go a step further and you start pronouncing those words.

It'll appear that you are thoroughly listening if you words like okay, right. umm after regular intervals with nod of your head.

People actually started coming to me for advice, I learnt another important lesson. The people we go to advice for; are not the hard, practical one who can tell you exactly what to do, but to the listeners, least bossy and dominant people we know.

Another very useful thing related to toastmaster is the need to be brief. I listen to anybody with picture of timer's stop-watch in my mind. I listen with intent while green card is on. Tend to lose focus in yellow card and then just cease to listen in red zone.

This is also one of the rare area where my wife too need to work upon. Her time exceeds in the speech.  Remember , RARE is the key word here. I always stress on this Rare whenever giving suggestion for improvement to her.

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Dear friends, I'll give you a very practical advice. All of you should enroll your wife or Girl friend in Toastmaster (And you can also thank me later, Mr. VP membership. ). I'll ensure that you'll be made speech evaluator for her. I have the powers you know, I'm the new associate VP education.

We'll have an ultimate win-win solution. Women will be happy that for the first time men are actually listening to them.

And the men would be ecstatic that finally............ women are getting at point in less than 7 min

Thank you all for listening to me even during red card.

Over to you Mr. Toastmaster.

Now that I think of it, I don't this speech very much. I actually liked my previous speech better. The content was not great and somehow it feels disjointed.

One of the reason why I had a long gap after this speech. Somehow in this rush of completing toastmaster speeches I've been compromising on content.

Toastmaster Fourth Project: How to say it

Toastmaster Fourth Project:

I delivered my fourth project at Toastmaster.

The fourth speech as per Competent communicator manual is "How to say it".

This objective of this project is to use simple yet descriptive language.

The speech is as below.

Friends. I’m going to share a haunting secret of my life.

It started, like everything else.... with a woman. A women who is now my wife. When I met her first time, I asked her a question that meant a lot to me. She could not answer due to some interruption and I did not push.

A few weeks after marriage reality dawned on me. My deepest fear has come true. My wife too is an Ekta kapoor's serial addict.

(pause)

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow members and dear guest, My speech today is about TV TRAUMA

To say that I don’t like these daily soaps will be an understatement. I just can’t stand it.

These serials led us to believe that everyone is a scheming person, hell bent on making the life of other person a living hell. Even ten minutes of it makes me as depressed as Big boss participants, Causes my blood pressure to go up like petrol prices, I feel as awkward as our prime minister.

 For those of you who wonder how come a movie like “Kya super kool hai hum” become super hit, It was because of the wishes of people like me, who wants her films to be soooo successful that she don’t make serials any more.

By the way, I said my wife too because guess what ? My mother also is an ardent admirer of these serials.

So there I was, trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea. I was feeling as insecure as Rohit Sharma is in Indian cricket team, as Desperate as Abhishek Bachchan is for a hit and as lonely as India's Olympic gold medal.

Not the one to give up without fighting, I tried ev.....erything, (1) sharing with them various research works showing adverse mental effect of watching these serials, (2)informing them that their social behavior is affected by too much tv, AND (pause)  (3) climbing the water pipe to disconnect the cable connection.

But all the efforts goes down the drain, my advice fell on deaf ears.(sigh) I have to admit that Ekta Kapoor is here to stay in my home.

As nervous and hopeful as a speaker giving Ice-breaker speech. I gave my last shot. I said " you know being a couch potato can make you FAT. (FAT)

The Reactions –

1)       Wife - "I don't trust you". See that's why I hate serials - lack of trust.

2)       Mother -  "A bit of weight will actually look good on my wife".Effect of serials - Generation gap.

3)       Both said they heard neighbors saying someone was climbing up our water pipe. I brush off - people make these conspiracy theories on watching too much serials.

Alas, I had to give-up, I was dejected, disgusted and devastated. Furious, frightful and frustrated.

I tried to seek positives in this torturous trauma. Console myself with eccentric excuses. Like

1)       My productivity has greatly increased in office. As now I have no hurry to go home and watch the serials with my wife.

2)       We don’t fight like other couples as the breaks between serials are also utilized for checking other serials leaving too little time for arguments

3)       I brought new laptop to check the cricket score and keep myself busy as I have no control over tv remote.

But none of these gave me comfort. I continued to feel miserable , till one day I had that Eureka moment.

I had a call from one of my best friend at the very ungodly time . He asked asking to meet up right then as he was in town. Aaanndd... my wife did not object as she was engrossed in television.

That was the moment my life was shaping up for , I realized that I wrongly blame Ekta Kapoor for everything , She had given me personal space for 2-3 hrs every days. In which I can do anything I want. Without making too much noise to disturb my wife off course.

From here  ; I would like to declare that "Behind most of the successful men there is a woman named Ekta kapoor and her army of women like Tulsi, Parvati, Kumkum. Together they keep women in house busy so that men can go and accomplish goals while having peace of mind.

So kudos to Ekta Kapoor.

Over to you Mr Toastmaster.

This speech was my first attempt at humor. So far my first three speeches are just to get a feel of public speaking. Now as I feel bit more confident. So I tried to present a funny speech.

Also I don't want to follow the holy grail of toastmaster speech topics, i.e. speaking on motivation, inspirational (read preachy, boring and repetitive) topics.

This speech was the first time I try putting in use the tools like "rule of three", "similes", "metaphors", "Alliterations" etc.

Speech was well appreciated and I even won best speaker award.

Toastmaster third project - Get to the point

October 14, 2012

Today I delivered my third project in Toastmaster.

The project was to “Get to the point”.

Objectives as per Toastmaster “Competent Communicator” manual as below –

• Determine your general purpose
• Focus in on your specific purpose
• Ensure that the entire speech maintains focus on your objective

However there was a catch – I have to give speech in Hindi, yes you heard me right.

This was a special session where all speakers have to use Hindi only.

Anyways, the speech (in Hindi) is as below.

अगर मैं कहूं कि मेरा नाम दिन में चार बार लेने से आपके साथ कुछ अच्छा होगा ? और इस बात का आप जितना अधिक प्रचार करेंगे, उतनी ही आप पर लक्ष्मी की कृपा होगी..

यदि मैं आपको कैंसर का रामबाण उपचार बताऊँ. तो क्या आप मेरा विश्वास करेंगे ?

मजेदार बात ये है कि मुझे अच्छी तरह ना जानते हुए भी आप आँखें मूंद कर यकीन करेंगे.

क्योंकि हम बिलकुल ऐसा ही करते हैं,... जब हम ऑनलाइन होते है.

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हम अनगिनत मेल या मेसेज फॉरवर्ड करते है. कुछ हानिरहित चुटकुले, कुछ उपयोगी जानकारी देने वाले और  कुछ अच्छी किस्मत के लिए

आखिर इसमे हर्ज़ ही क्या है ?

इसके चार तरह के नुकसान है.

१) पहला तो आप एक मुर्ख लगेंगे. खुद मुझे कुछ दोस्तों कि तरफ अपना नजरिया बदलना पड़ा ,जो कि ऐसे अच्छे भाग्य के सन्देश भेजते थे.

facebook पर साईं बाबा की तस्वीर को आप like, share करो और आप पर साईं बाबा की कृपा होगी. वर्ना आप नास्तिक कहलाओगे.

२) दूसरा आप किसी धोखेबाज़ी का शिकार हो सकते है. ऐसी बहुत सी मेल्स आपको आती होंगी कि आप भाग्यशाली विजेता है फलां फलां lottery के, जिसका टिकट ही आपने नहीं लिया होता.

या कोई वेबसाइट खोलिए और .... बधाईयाँ, आप १०००००० वें व्यक्ति हैं क्लिक करने वाले और जीतते हैं एक आईपॉड.

३) तीसरा इनमें ऐसे सुझाव दिए जाते हैं जो आपकी सेहत के लिए नुकसानदायक हो सकते हैं.

शायद आपको भी एक मेल आई हो ATM का पिन उल्टा टाइप करने के बारे में. अगर कोई आपको डरा धमका कर ATM से पैसे निकालने को मजबूर करता है. तो आप अपना पिन उल्टा टाइप करें. ऐसा करने पर ATM से रुपये तो  मिल जायेंगे पर नजदीकी पुलिस स्टेशन में अलार्म बजेगा. कितने लोगो को ये मेल मिला है ?

ऐसी कोई भी तकनीक किसी बैंक ने लागू नहीं की है. सोचिये ऐसी मेल पढ़कर आप ऐसा करने कि कोशिश करें और ATM से पैसे आने की बजाय ब्लाक हो जायें. इस परिस्थिति में चोर आपका क्या हाल करेगा ?

४) चौथा आप किसी सरकारी झमेले में फंस सकते हो

हमें यह स्मरण रखना चाहिए कि सरकारी तंत्र ऐसी घटनायों को लेकर बहुत ज्यादा उदार नहीं है.

कार्टूनिस्ट असीम त्रिवेदी और Professor अम्बिकेश महापात्र इसकी गवाही दे सकते हैं. Facebook में आने वाले बहुत से मेसेज, कार्टून उस श्रेणी में आते हैं जिनपर Law of sedition के अंतर्गत आप पर कार्यवाही हो सकती है.

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सवाल ये पैदा होता है कि व्यक्तिगत तौर पर हमें क्या करना चाहिए ?

• पहला इन्टरनेट पर "Break the Chain"  और "Hoax - Slayer"  जैसी कई वेब-साईट्स है जहां आपको सच्चाई का पता लग सकता है.

       अगर हमारे पास ऐसे मेसेज फॉरवर्ड करने का समय है तो हमारे पास उनकी सच्चाई पता करने का समय भी है. और अगर हमारे पास ऐसी mails कि छानबीन करने का समय नहीं है तो हमारे पास इनको फॉरवर्ड      करने का समय भी नहीं होगा. हमारी ऐसी शुभकामनाओं / नेक सलाहों के बिना भी लोगों का काम चल जायेगा.

• दूसरा हमें इस बात का ध्यान रखना चाहिए कि ऑनलाइन हम जो भी करते है उसकी जिम्मेदारी हमारी है. गौरतलब है कि कुछ placement agencies आपके bio-data के साथ साथ social media sites पर भी आपकी profile की जॉच करती है.

इसलिए दोस्तों, इस बात की सावधानी अवश्य रखें कि इन्टरनेट की बदौलत पूरी दुनिया एक गाँव बन गयी है. और हमारा ऑनलाइन व्यवहार ही हमें इस गाँव का एक जिम्मेदार नागरिक साबित करेगा.

Toastmaster second speech - Organize your speech

Today I delivered my second speech in GTMC (Gurgaon Toastmaster Club)

Below are it excerpts (with one image inserted for clarity) 

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow members and dear guests.

The topic of my speech is perceptions and interpretations.

I'll start with a story.

The story is about some blind men who went to see an elephant for the first time.

First man touched the leg of elephant and said to other, Listen this animal is like a PILLAR.

Second man touched the tusk and said to others. Are you mad? It’s smooth, round and sharp like a SPEAR.

Third got the trunk in his hand and said! Hey this animal is actually a snake

Fourth lay his hands on tail and said. "What are you saying this animal is like a rope?

 

Though written more than two thousand years ago, this story hold important insights for all of us in terms of interpretations different people draw.

For me the story indicates that every man was telling the truth, it was his truth and so different from truth of other five people.

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In the story, those men make their impressions based on sense of touching, but how did we make our impressions?

Broadly there are four bases on which people make their interpretations-

1)      Personal background and upbringing – The circumstances in which we grew up mould our attitude and leaves deep lasting impressions on our thinking and shapes our character

2)      Inspirations – All of us tend to make role-models at various stages of our life especially at a tender age, Later on these impressions makes us partisan.

3)      Belief systems – All cultures develop a system of values that are applied to meet a culture's needs. Our understanding of the values of a culture and our acceptance or rejection of those values is our belief system

4)      Ego – A person’s ego is his perception of oneself. It’s our sense of self esteem and we defend this sense of self importance.

And how these interpretations affect us?

All of us draw interpretations based on our knowledge and experiences but in reality how tolerant are we when our view is radically difference from the other person?

On micro level. In offices, in homes and with friends , the difference of opinion affects our relationships, our work performances and our mental peace on the whole.

At macro level, we as a society on the whole are getting more and more intolerant day by day. We just don’t respect the right of other person to differ in opinion from us.

We are quick to brand anything which doesn’t agree with our beliefs as blasphemous and unmoral.

We ban their works, burn their effigies, force them into exiles and in many extreme cases they may have to lose their lives.

So the big question is? What can me as an individual do?

One of the common mistakes is to reach outward for solutions whereas we have to reach inwards for it.

Understanding on what biases our interpretations are based about and tackling the past demons.

If we would remain positive in our outlook only then we can understand others.

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I’ll conclude with another short story.

It’s a story about two brothers whose father was bitter and cruel; an alcoholic and a drug addict who almost kills himself several times. Today he serves life sentence in prison.

One of the brothers grew up to be just like dad. A drug addict who lives by stealing and threatening others until him, too, was put in prison just like his father.

His brother however is different story, a man who’s raising three kids, is financially stable, enjoys his marriage and appears to be truly happy.

Both were asked privately, unbeknownst to the other “Why have you life turned out this way.

Surprisingly they both provided the exact same answer.

Would you like to know what the answer was, it’s “WHAT ELSE COULD I HAVE BECOME, HAVING GROWN UP WITH A FATHER LIKE THAT.

The circumstances may not be in our control but what we make of them is definitely in our hands.

Bankruptcy of mind - 1

How can somebody for whom it seems the terms Google- maniac has been defined can slam Google ?

No I'm not a supporter of Apple or Microsoft. In fact I'd love Google and Samsung to win against MS and Apple so that I can have my Samsung Smartphone with android.

It all started like this...

I was searching for a topic to prepare my second speech in Toastmaster, very recently I was criticizing people who just copy article from books, Google to make their speech in toastmaster.

But, I found myself doing the same thing i.e. searching on goggle to find material and guess what was my excuse?

My excuse was that for my second project I need to deliver a speech which has to be very structured with main points , sub points and all that.  Sooooo... I have to find some research material . Andddd..... where else to find but Google.

So I squirmed through Google and jotted down lots and lots of material which I could refine and prepare my speech but then I stopped...........

Hello!!, the speech is not on some historical or scientific thing but on an aspect of human behavior and though I can do with some psychological references but where will you draw the line between getting the reference / idea from Google  or plainly copying the material from Google and editing, re-phrasing it and branding it as my own work.

Its getting more and more complicated now.

What's an original idea anyways

Acc to one the theories (BTW what do you really expect when you read these words)

Every specie has a collective conscience where each individual can plunge into and that the reason one or more people come out with exactly same idea at same point of time.

I'll admit the first picture that cropped into my mind when I read this theory was some clips from the movie Avatar - For those who had seen the movie - surely can relate this stuff with so called Eywa

Okay I have diverted sufficiently off from the main topic and hence I will come directly to the point.

Google is probably the best thing that has happened to us.

Courtesy to it, we now have the access to all the information available worldwide in matter of seconds.

Its very hard to imagine how people would've managed before Google, From where they accumulated the required information.

But wait..... the keyword here is information  -

DID WE EVER CARED TO STOP AND REFLECT THAT WHAT WE ARE SERVED AT GOOGLE IS INFORMATION OR OPINION.

WHETHER THE VERY THING (GOOGLE) THAT'S SUPPOSED TO INCREASE OUR KNOWLEDGE HAS ACTUALLY BECOME OUR CRUTCH.

Its just like you forget actually cooking food because you are dependent on ready made food.

In the same way we have forgot analysis, deduction and making opinion because why bother ?, ready made opinions are available at Google, Much better thought off , supported by solid evidences, historical trends blah blah.

So all that we have to do is to search deep in Google and locate such gems of Wisdom and then snap. you are ready to show off your intellectual prowess.

And if you are caught and accused of plagiarism!! well impress them by explaining theory of collective consciousness [:)].

Toastmaster First Project - Ice Breaker

Just checked that I've not published my first speech of Toastmaster here.

So here it is

I’ll start with a question – How many of you have actually selected the carrier you’re into, the institute from where you have passed.

Don’t you wonder, the important decisions that shape our life are taken without any serious reflection just by going with the trends.

Mr.  Toastmaster, fellow members and dear guests.

The topic of my speech is Y2K, which is an acronym for year 2000, the year in which I was compelled to take a major decision of my life.

The major part of my life is spent in Chandigarh, where we settled in after my father retired from army. Somehow it’s planned architecture suites my father who could not shed that basic disciplined demeanor of his army life.

It’s a city where I did most of my schooling, my college education and my job also.

So in year 2000 I completed my higher secondary, Up to so far everything was okay. I selected Non Medical after metric because that’s what good studious students are expected to do, isn’t it; to become doctors or engineers.

It was very clear that two years before to me that I have to appear in competitive exams after my 10+2 but somehow I did nothing about it unlike some of my classmates who were ready with their plans of shifting to Kota as its hub of coaching centers and enrolling to another school where you can bunk classes to attend coaching.

I do attend coaching classes and appeared in all the exams, Harsh reality fell on the day of declaration of result when I found that I’m in front of may-be tens of thousands of students but more importantly and what matters most also , was behind those elusive one thousand applicants who can dream of making in institutions of their choice

All my hopes were clinging to one last result that was yet to come. Standing in queue in that room waiting for my result , those 2 hrs seems like 2 years and after that I get that wretched piece of paper telling that my rank is 800 odd something in short NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Just at the gate of that room, a man was selling the pamphlets of crash course for a institute called Indo Swiss Training Centre.

I swear that I’ve never heard of it before; but as I was not at all willing to go home and face my parents so instead I went to the institute to collect the brochure. There was a bunch of students just standing near the counter and how worse a day can be I find myself right in a ragging session.

Luckily some students were sensible enough to understand my situation, at that unlikeliest of places I got good advice that helps me to decide my future course of action.

Saying that I made a choice would be a false statement because I really don’t have much options, I was not at all willing to explore options like taking a paid seat or going in some obscure college in some remote part or to drop one year and give another try to same exams.

I set a goal to clear the entrance exams and get into that institute and achieved it. After all those years its very hard for me to imagine my life without those teachers and those classmates.

A lot of my friends pursued other options and after more a decade it’s a mixed results but I never regret my decision.

I’m not a philosopher but there are two learning that stays with me after all this.

One No such decision can ever be wrong which is taken with conviction and followed with perseverance

And for second I’ll quote zig ziglar as

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become after achieving your goals

 

Second Meeting Toastmaster (unlucky day)

Today I attended the second meeting of Gurgaon Toastmaster club (gurgaontoastmasters.com)

But the day started on a pretty bad note, first of all I could not get-up in the morning on time.

Secondly as I was about to leave , my wife told me to get some bread butter from market as she did not feel like cooking ( I had shifted house just a day before and everybody has the right to be tooo tired [ except me , offcouse!]

Thirdly I had an accident on the way with major scratches on my car (I still feel peeved thinking about car repair bill)

Fourthly I was fined by traffic police for entering into a one-way on wrong side.

Inspite of that I reached toastmaster on time but my misfortune did not ended here only

Fifthly the air – conditioner in the room was not working

Sixthly – I did not participate in table topic contest as the guy who has decided on the topics did not want to tax his brain cells and come up with a simple solutions.

[for info abt toastmaster and table topic, visit their site, I'm one hell of a lazy bone to write about it]

Anyway table topic is supposed to be a fun filled, on the spot speaking kind of thing where you pick a slip and start speaking on it, just like that (The ultimate nightmare of people like me)

And that guy just come across a topic – acceptance speech if you are selected a president: decides that its funny enough and made it a central theme of all the topics.

for example, president of india for social cause (?), winner of speech competition, winner of best employee, winner of Indian Idol.

Well I could’ve tried too, but I found topic too boring and everyone was giving the same line  (thank everyone blah blah)

Anyway still if I have to pick something positive out of it then it’s that I managed to attend two meetings in a row of toastmaster clup (two times in a row, I got up at 7 pm on a sunday morning, two times in the row I dont fell prey to procrastination, I skipped two episodes of Satyamev Jayte by Amir Khan, I resisted the temptation of sunday morning brunch two times in the row and two time in the row I dont use some minor problem as an excuse of not attending toastmaster meeting)

EPILOGUE - 

I read “alchemist” by Paul Coelho again last week. Found it an interesting read though from fiction point of view only, not something life changing or motivational.

Agreed there are some nuggets of wisdom in it, but those i think you can find in any book you pick. That the beauty of habit of reading.

The writer describes omens as signs from god in an impressive way, after this turn of events today. I wonder what to make out of it as I have all the bad omens today. will know tomorrow in office (monday morning is alway bad anyway)