Graffiti

Treat your employees like you want them to treat your best customer
Stephen covey

Toastmaster Seven Project

Today on February 16, 2014. I gave my 7^th project in Toastmasters.

It took me a long time to deliver this speech (my last speech was in…. hold your breadth march 2013)

Needless to say. This long gap did not do me any good. It was almost an Icebreaker (my first speech of Toastmaster).

To top it all. One, I could not prepare it well due to hectic office schedule. And Second, I went way over time (timing device malfunction involved) and have to cut down my speech abrupty.

But more about that later. For now here’s my speech draft below -

I was ecstatic. Riding on the wave of euphoria, I felt like I was part of divine consciousness.

The Feeling was all powerful like I have attained Nirvana. ………And then….. All of a sudden I heard

                    

“Ashiiiiiiiish, wake up now (Louder). You’re getting late for school. Just look at the time.

In that golden age, I just can’t wait to grow up so that I don’t have to wake up so early. I mean it’s so unfair that the grownups office starts at 9 and our school starts at seven in the morning.

But alas, growing up comes with a wife ….. I mean price.

Even after all those year. Now I have to wake up early as my daughter’s school starts at seven.

Even now, in my present situation had to do a comprehensive study on Benefits of sleeping that I’m going to share with all of you.

Let’s define sleep first. It’s a physical state wherein a person is very still and relaxed. Totally silent apart from some incomprehensible sound uttered from time to time. Now this is very important. Relaxed is the main keyword here because the other parameters; silent with incomprehensible muttering are classic signs of normal behavior of any married man.

In fact jury is still out on whether a married man is relaxed even while sleeping too.

Since time immemorial. Sleep has very prominent place; even in our ancient texts. In Hindu mythology. Out of the holy trinity, the great god Vishnu, god of sustenance is depicted as reclining on Sheshnag in the holy ocean known as Sheersagar. Sleeping has been a form of meditation in our culture. In fact we interpret it as meditation but actually they were emphasizing the power of sleeping. My childhood was spent in state of Punjab, And back in our village. We don’t had any temple. So we used to go to the Gurudwara and ask our demands from Babaji. What I still remember is that Babaji was always smiling and looks like sleepy.

In fact spiritually also it’s very difficult to feel any negative emotion like anger, frustration etc. while feeling sleepy.

Even our elected leaders also tried to draw on this ancient wisdom and to utilize this benefits of sleeping, they try to catch a nap time and again in the parliament. But as a part of a larger conspiracy. The scheming media-persons don’t allow them to do it.

With the advent of science. Even researchers all over the world are also reconfirming the benefits of sleeping .In a recent study, researchers at NASA showed that a 30-minute power nap increased cognitive faculties by approximately 40 percent! Tests carried out on one thousand volunteers proved that those who continued working without rest, made lower scores in intelligence tests like the IQ test. More importantly, their capacities to work and memorize decreased in comparison to those who napped after lunch.

[ http://ririanproject.com/2007/09/05/10-benefits-of-power-napping-and-how-to-do-it/]

Some people says that sleeping leads to procrastination. But if you analyses closely. Actually sleeping enables you to complete your target in very short period of time. The Japanese concept of just in time also owes its origin to sleeping.

We owe many of our great inventions to sleep. Had Newton not been in sleepy state one fine morning, taking a short nap? We would not have discovered gravity.

Even in our corporate world, Speed can help us in many hidden ways. I’ll recount a short story to illustrate this point.

It happened in the graveyard….. shift in our training session. Just after the fullsome free lunch. We experienced that all of sudden, gravity in the room has increased manifold. Our head started deviating towards ground. Just then we are jerked awake out of our sleep. Something unimaginable has happened. Rubbing our eyes in dis-belief . We just realized that someone has actually asked a question. Giving dirty looks to new favorite of bosses or rather our new bosses. We failed to realize the secret. Friends I going to tell you his secret. His secret was Somniloquy or talking in sleep.

We are obsessed with speed and crossing milestones – However useless they might be.

The hour hand got this anxiety that it’s not moving as fast as the minute hand even its movement carries much more weightage than her.

The minute hand wants to compete with second hand. I mean look how slim and fast it is.

Caught in this meaningless rat race. Nobody has the time to take a step back to look at the broader picture. If they could pause and look back. They could realize that they are moving in circles and this frantic race will not take them anywhere.

In the hindsight I would much rather prefer to waste my time in sleeping than running in circles in this mad rat race.

As you can see above. It was a long speech at around 900 words. There’s no way I could have finished it in 7 mins. My speed as I’ve come to realize is 100 words / min. Originally this speech started at around 700 words but some late minute additions swell it to 900 words.

But what is even sadder is that even after that ,the transitions and conclusion were up to my satisfaction.

Summary of evaluation comments as below

1)      Transitions could be better

2)      Lack of emotional comment with audience

3)      Lack of pauses

4)      Face totally flat (without emotions)

5)      Clasped hands

Graffiti

 "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow."
-Mary Ann Radmacher

Graffiti

 "The door step to the temple of the wisdom is the knowledge of our ignorance."
-Charles Spurgeon

Graffiti

 “Somebody might be just plain better than me, they might be more talented or they might have more experience. But I can always work harder than them. That’s within my control.”
-Will Smith

Graffiti

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 

1. The nervous and 

2. Liars.” 

– Mark Twain

Humorous speech contest at GTMC

Today I participated in Humorous speech contest in GTMC (Gurgaon Toastmasters Club)

Lot of thing happened at the same time in my life.

I did not won anything (not even come third). But still I'm glad I tried.

I have setteled quite nicely in Toastmaster (its more than a year since I joined) but paritcipation in this contest was a eye opener for me.

My feet are back on ground now.

Here a speech I have given (My old speech, modified for the purpose)

Opening – 86 words (1 min)

Date – November 28, 2008. The day after the day no married person can dare forget.

The second day after my marriage.

As in the case of any other couple with arranged marriage. I was worried about compatibility.

Compatibility between my wife and my MOM.

But, as it turned out; both of them share a common interest. Both are mad about something which makes me mad. (Pause)…

Daily soaps, the saas bahu one.

Contest Chair, Judges, Hapless husbands and sons.

My speech today is about TV TRAUMA

Body – 378 words (4 min)

Friends, my situation was like someone expecting a salary hike and getting pink slip instead.

Like any other normal person starting a new phase of life. I had some dreams.  Dreams of having a new tv, on which I can watch whatever I want to.

But in the cruel twist of destiny, I got a new 42 inch LCD TV with surround sound. And all I get to watch on it were the Saas Bahu serials. It was like speaking in International speech contest and using notes.

Just after ten minutes of it, I had an uncontrollable fit to break the TV. And the blame for it was placed on violent Hollywood movies.

Nonetheless, not accepting this grim situation on hand. I summoned my inner fighter and commanded him to take actions. Actions like.

a)  Luring them that they can use the amount saved by cutting cable connection in shopping and beauty parlor.

b)  Arguing that nowadays even news are as entertaining and TRP sensitive as daily soaps.  They should give it a try.

AND (pause)  

c)        Climbing the water pipe to disconnect the cable connection.

But all the efforts goes down the drain, my advice fell on deaf ears.(sigh) I was feeling as stressed out as VP Education arranging speakers in holidays season.

As nervous and hopeful as a speaker giving Ice-breaker speech. I gave my last shot. I said “you know being a couch potato can make you fat.

The Reactions –

1)       Wife - "I don't trust you". See that's why I hate serials - lack of trust.

2)       Mother - “What are you talking about, Actually I’m loosing weight due to worrying about poor female protagonist in these daily soaps.

3)       Both said they heard neighbors saying someone was climbing up our water pipe. I brush off the allegation - people make these conspiracy theories on watching too much serials.

Alas, I had to give-up, I was dejected, disgusted and devastated. Furious, frightful and frustrated.

I tried to seek positives with eccentric excuses like

1)       My productivity has greatly increased in office. As now I have no hurry to go home and watch the serials with my wife.

2)       We don’t fight like other couples as the breaks between serials are also utilized for checking other serials leaving too little time for arguments

3)       I brought new laptop to check the cricket score and keep myself busy as I have no control over tv remote

Conclusion – 167 min (2 min)

But none of these gave me comfort. I continued to feel miserable, till one day I had that Eureka moment.

I had a call from one of my best friend at the very ungodly time . He asked asking to meet up right then as he was in town. Aaanndd... my wife did not object as she was engrossed in television.

That was the moment my life was shaping up for, I realized that I wrongly blame Ekta Kapoor for everything, she had given me personal space for 2-3 hrs every days. In which I can do anything I want. Without making too much noise to disturb my wife off course.

From here; I would like to declare that "Behind most of the successful men there is a woman named Ekta kapoor and her army of women like Tulsi, Parvati, Kumkum. Together they keep women in house busy so that men can go and accomplish goals while having peace of mind.

Over to you Mr Contest Chair.

My timing was okay. I forgot some parts of it but fortunately nothing important was missed.

Do I feel bad.           definitely yes. (There was table topic contest too. And I participated and lost in that too)

Did I think I deserved not to even come third (No)

Where did I think I go wrong.                    Well, that's difficult one 

1) Preparation was not really thorough

2) Lack of gestures and movement (One of my weak points from always)

3) Not comfortable on stage (judges, audience can smell it)

4) Time since my last speech in GTMC (Five months !!!1)

5) My humor is too subtle (that is the controversial one. but I really believe it)

6) End was weak (most impact-full part of speech)

What I'm going to do now                

Well I've not exactly figured it out yet. But I will be out of station for next week and will find time to reflect upon it.